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Signed up for match.com last night!!

(16 Posts)
Blobby10 Wed 02-Nov-16 12:50:02

Signed up for match.com last night but what on earth do I do now??? I only put a pic up and filled out the basic profile information and am completely panicking blush

two chaps have marked me as favourite - what does that mean?? Is it good?

One person has winked - is that better or worse than being a favourite?

What do I do if I dont find their photo appealing? Is it good etiquette to just ignore them? Can they tell if I have clicked onto their profile? IS there an etiquette to follow when OLD?!

Can any of you lovely ladies give me any advice? I'm 18 months out of a 20 year marriage and dont want a full on relationship (sex would be nice!) but would love someone to make going out again fun!!

TheNaze73 Wed 02-Nov-16 15:45:46

Could you maybe get a male friend, to maybe look through your profile?
I've checked out a profile for a female colleague before & it was far too serious, wasn't fun, the pictures made her look aloof & I'm sure she was putting people off with that.
No idea about the winks & favourites as I've never done OLD however, best of luck

gunting Wed 02-Nov-16 15:50:41

I signed up to OLD a few years ago just to have fun and meet new people. I think my advice would be to just be safe and have fun with it. I met lots of people (some good and some bad), had some shocking dates but also made some friends.

I met my DH on there too and we have DC now smile

hellsbellsmelons Wed 02-Nov-16 16:06:24

Have a look at this thread as well.
I believe there's lots of info on their and a lot of support, hints and tips.
I think favourite is better than a wink.
But if you see they have done that then it's a good in to talk to them if you find them attractive?!
Good luck.
I did match.com many years ago. Dated one guy and wouldn't go there again!
Lucky escape for me.
If you do find one you like try to get a bit of background on them from the internet, not just the dating site.
The one I date lied about loads of stuff!

Pooky77 Wed 02-Nov-16 16:10:37

Don't panic and don't worry overly about etiquette, just do what you feel comfortable with.

From memory i think that favourite means something slightly more than winking, but both are really just a way of them saying that they liked your profile. If you look at a profile and like what you see you could favourite or wink back and this may then lead to a message being sent.

I think the other person can see if you have visited their profile as you can probably see who has visited yours.

Mostly just enjoy it and i hope you find what you are looking for.

Blobby10 Wed 02-Nov-16 16:44:29

hellsbells thank you!! That thread was very helpful.
pooky i've no idea what I'm looking for but I feel the need for something confused
naze great idea - thankyou I will do that -I haven't completed my profile yet as I'm just wondering what on earth I''m letting myself in for! But I know I need to steer away from my normal way of talking which is doing myself down rather than being positive.
gunting congratulations - my brother met his second wife on a dating site and she is fantastic so I know it works!

Ive spotted a really nice looking chap from my home town - wondering how on earth he is single actually confused grin

hellsbellsmelons Wed 02-Nov-16 16:48:36

wondering how on earth he is single actually
And this is why you always do a bit of googling.
Facebook, LinkdIn, anything else you can think of.
Just make sure he is single then wink at him and see what happens.
Nothing to lose!

stubbornstains Wed 02-Nov-16 21:38:31

I have ....^kind of^ signed up to match.com...grin.

In a kind of half- arsed, "got to sign up to have a look at profiles" way. I haven't even added a photo (well I did, it was of a funny poster I saw in Amsterdam, and got removed by the mediators who obviously Do Not Approve of levity). Neither have I parted with any money yet....I think the "paid for" elements are pretty pricey...or am I just a skinflint?

Lots of men on there. Many of whom are a bit lacking in the hair department, so it all looks a bit like a sea of King Edward potatoes when you view all the profiles together. Several men I know personally (the joys of living in a close knit rural area!), and it's fun to compare the profiles with the actual reality- "he's put on about 4 stone since those pics were taken, surely!" ""Good dad! Beloved children?!"Yeah mate, that might wash if I wasn't friends with your ex!" Etc....

I've had several views- probably men who saw I looked at their profiles, and are now a bit disgusted with me for not adding photos to mine.

I am aiming to do it properly, though. When I've lost the final stone, perhaps. Or maybe after Christmas....

HandyWoman Wed 02-Nov-16 22:06:56

'...sea of King Edward potatoes'

grin hahaha hilarious! That's exactly it!

Haha....

Had a spate internet dating starting this time last year. It was fun - mostly

LellyMcKelly Thu 03-Nov-16 01:36:37

Apart from having kids, signing up on Match was the best thing I have ever done. Don't take it too seriously, enjoy meeting all the nice men, ignore the ones who start sending photos you don't like, and at all times, be aware that you are totally fabulous and they are lucky to date you. It's great fun, and maybe, just maybe, you will meet someone amazing -- with a massive cock . I did, and a year and a half down the line I am one loved up, happy, - very satisfied -- woman.

LellyMcKelly Thu 03-Nov-16 01:37:39

My strikethrough skills are rubbish 😀😀😀😀

ThatsNoWayToSayGoodbye Thu 03-Nov-16 06:54:37

Tbh, I think that the wink and favourite functions are really lazy. If you like someone, then send out a proper email that shows you have read their profile. A wink and a favourite just mean, I've seen your photo and it doesn't immediately put me off the thought of fucking you... so they favourite/wink either to come back and look at your profile later, or to see if you'll pick up the bait and email yourself. Ignore anyone who makes contact with you when you don't have a photo and only have the basic profile completed.

Don't worry about the etiquette of online dating, or about seeming rude/aloof/unkind, or agonise how to reply to contact from a man you don't find attractive. Some men will send out winks/favourites/"hi sexy" emails to many, many people, 20-30 in one sitting maybe. It doesn't really mean anything, and the brutal truth is that whilst you are agonising over how to let him down gently, he's already forgotten he sent it. I would always respond to someone who sent a 'proper' email to explain I wasn't interested; that's only polite.

Don't forget you can also search for new members. A lot of men will do this because they also know new members will be naive to the ways of online dating, won't have such strong boundaries, and are more likely to respond favourably to very little effort.

Don't get me wrong, there are no doubt some very genuine and decent men on there. I've known some, and I've also been to a couple of online dating weddings, so I'm not completely cynical. But you need to go into it with your eyes open. If you go into it with the view that online dating is full of men looking for love and a long term monogamous commitment with a special woman, then you are going to get hurt and be very disappointed.

There are some 'rules' on the first page of every dating thread on here. They are not to be taken lightly, especially (from memory) the one about having thick skin, the one about people disappearing and generally being weird is not your fault and the one about it all being bullshit until it happens.

The photos will tell you a lot about a man's intentions and whether he is available or not. Be ruthless.

ThatsNoWayToSayGoodbye Thu 03-Nov-16 07:02:32

Stubborn My exh joined match after we split and I gave his profile a look over.

I think he'd forgotten that I'd actually been married to him because some of the things he said he liked doing were things I knew he'd either a) never done or b) were things I'd liked to do and he'd resented massively!! grin

No idea why! confused

Blobby, like I say, there are some very genuine men on there. One man I know is the kindest, loveliest, most loyal man I think I've ever met. He got married recently to someone he met in real life, but he was doing online dating for a few years and met some right oddbods, so it's not just the men

As long as you go into it thinking you'll meet some interesting people, have some nights out you wouldn't otherwise have had, and be able to fine tune your relationship/man must haves vs dealbreakers, you'll be fine.

whatyouseeiswhatyouget Thu 03-Nov-16 08:02:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blobby10 Thu 03-Nov-16 10:38:11

A massive THANK YOU to everyone who has replied and its great to hear so many positive stories. smile

I'm going to write the profile bit tonight and have a look at some of the profiles, making sure that I haven't spent any time with my current best friend Monsieur Sauvignon Blanc who is lovely but does affect my eyesight on occasion grin

stupid123 Fri 25-Nov-16 21:31:35

.... well Blobby10, how is this progressing ? :-)

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