I have posted here before about my dh and since the last post He has begun counselling and is in it for the longhaul. Background is regular low moods, quick to anger and is easily stressed. He seems to have a really low tolerance for mess in particular which to me is par for the course wuth two young dc. Our house btw is small so playroom can look like bombsite but equally a ten min blitz has it perfect so I don't stress. Anyway despite the counselling and a big effort wrt anger, I am finding the low moods v wearing and while I want to support him as it's obviously a mh issue I need to have my own limits also. I don't know if I am being tolerant or intolerant so would appreciate some outside perspective . It is now almost two years since I told him the anger was unacceptable and he needed to get it sorted and he agreed it was a problem.
In the last week he has returned from work to find dinner almost ready whilst I'm on floor with two dc, trying to keep baby happy on lap while reading to 4yo and he walks past us to sigh and bluster over kitchen cupboard before reorganizing it. Another day I have prepped veg, only for it to be rechopped wordlessly-not small enough, and he then started sighing and swearing under his breath about the cutlery drawer (I had emptied the dw at speed before play school drop and hadn't sat down since getting home). The following morning I was up at 5 (baby didn't go back after 5am feed) and had both dc downstairs till 10am and he comes down tidying books and toys from floor-four/five books, one train set out. He sighs and stomps at night if he's up to give so other, I get up a few times also, and it's just a general cloud over me and I assume the dc... he is off today so I was up from 6-7 with dc and now he's 'on' but within minutes it was all cranky voices-ds was going through Halloween haul-and his mood is of course passed on. Minutes later it's sweetness and light and he's great with dc 90% of time and had really mutually adoring relationships with both but it is so wearing to hear the sighs and irritability every day (certainly in the last week, every day). So is this normal with young dc? I am cheery by nature despite interrupted sleep for last 15m but I know it's not as easy to 'get on with it' with stress/anxiety issues. He is great around house as you might have guessed but for me it's ott and not our current priority - he would like the house in permanent state of spotkessness. Wwyd? how long do I hold out for real improvement? We have xerovsex life which he resents I know but I find his behaviour v unattractive tbh. We have no nearby family support.
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How long do I put up with this?
mikado1 · 01/11/2016 08:17
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