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Going to Relate tomorrow. Any advice welcome

(4 Posts)
hopingforhappiness Mon 31-Oct-16 20:55:16

One of my first posts, a little nervous.
I have namechanged as I feel I can be more open then.
DH and I have been having major problems for a long time. Arguments are happening more and more often and nothing is ever resolved.
We are due to start Relate counselling tomorrow, I'm going first, he goes in a week's time, then we have a joint session.
I would be grateful for any advice so that I can make the sessions as effective as possible.
My fear is that I will just get really emotional and waste the time I have.

WasWildatHeart Mon 31-Oct-16 21:15:17

Don't worry about being emotional - it's perfectly normal. In my experience the first session is focused on the counsellor getting to know you and your concerns. You may feel like you get very little out of the session - in fact you might hate it and not want to go back. But do hang on in there - it takes a lot of time and effort, and a good counsellor, to progress. Counselling saved me and us.

iwasbornaunicorn Mon 31-Oct-16 21:42:31

We've been to relate although we did it when things were bad but not really bad. Mainly cause both sets of parents had divorced so we wanted to make sure we didn't disintegrate. It really helped put us back on track.
They were lovely really helpful, when you go as a couple try to remember it's not about who is right/wrong (even though you are obviously always right 😉). You need to work on learning to communicate in a functional way. Maybe make an agreement to listen to each other without interrupting. They sometimes give you "homework" which may sound silly but actually works and yes you might cry but that's normal.
How you can both work out out.

hopingforhappiness Tue 01-Nov-16 08:15:34

Thank you.
We have already had our initial meeting, it was excruciating and my OH came out furious.
I said some (truthful) things which made him even angrier than he already was.

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