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Ongoing relationship problems don't know what to do

(8 Posts)
Hedgehot27uk Sun 30-Oct-16 22:37:55

I'm hoping for some emotional support advice. I've had ongoing relationship problems or 2 years. I have tried so hard to talk to him. I have found it's so hard for me. My relationship with my mum is toxic. I hardly have any friends . My partner changed 2 years ago in personally I have found this traumatic I feel stuck .in would love it to work but losing hope I've been with him for along time. He changed after a stroke/ seizure I couldn't understand him it made conversation extremely stressful like he wasn't clear .I loved how he said things to me it was part of his character I fell in love with so this was very hard for me and trying to understand him was so hard.I'm so traumatised by this is don't cope well when relationship changes and as well as my mum and my mil problems this is too much.My best friend is avoiding me cause she's severely mentally I'll. I have a 1yr old but she was conceived before all this. I don't have the mental strength after all this to be a single mum I know myself that much as well . And I don't know what to do.

Hedgehot27uk Sun 30-Oct-16 22:46:22

Sorry for typos. It's autocorrect

JoJoSM2 Sun 30-Oct-16 22:53:00

It's a very difficult situation to be in and cope with. Speak to your GP. They should be able to refer you to some counselling or support group.

jeaux90 Mon 31-Oct-16 07:18:50

I agree with the previous poster and when you are feeling stronger you can make some strong decisions. You absolutely can be a single parent in fact I am way happier being one than I was in my relationship but you do need to work on your mental health yourself before taking a major decision. It's sounds really hard right now so please get some support. Big hug xxx

pallasathena Mon 31-Oct-16 07:24:44

You need to take control of your life. Most of what you're experiencing is down to the fact that you haven't any real control over things at the moment. Consequently, you are finding it hugely difficult to deal with life's curveballs. Add into the mix the demands of looking after a one year old, a partner who has changed beyond recognition, a mother who is, as you say, toxic and its no wonder you feel as you do.
Get to the GP and ask for some help with what could be the start of a depression. Seriously, you do sound as if you're on that road and need a little bit of help and care.
Make a plan to get some control back over your life. I was a single parent for many, many years and after a period of adjustment, blossomed in confidence, found good jobs, made friends and gave my children a positive start in life.
Think about your little one. Make changes so that your child grows up happy healthy and without fear. You owe it to both of you.

Teammck05 Mon 31-Oct-16 07:31:20

Have you tried contacting any of the stroke organisations. Try this website www.Stroke4Carers.org , personality change is common in stroke patients but one of the hardest aspects to cope with, especially for couples. Good luck op.

Hedgehot27uk Tue 01-Nov-16 22:22:16

Thanks for replies . I'm finding looking after my old year old hard,she screems a lot from temper tantrums and I have written him a letter .So will give it to him when the time is right. Another thing he can be so sweet then say horrible things as he carn the cope when I get up set that's hard too .I do give him space I hold so much in as I don't want upset him by being upset. I try really hard not to get upset in front of dd. I had councing but it's only a few sessions as it's free. I just wish I could fix my broken relationships .

Hedgehot27uk Tue 01-Nov-16 23:37:59

Please believe me I'm thinking of dd.I've been through so much I know I would be a better parent if if I didn't try and be a single mum I've really looked into it and thought about it.I have been through a 2 year court case as well. My mum has my first child she refused to give him back after she had him temporarily while was surfing from a traumatic birth and was incapacitated. I had so many parenting struggles with her as she's a control freak and took advantage of me as she completely took over my role then she stopped contact she said I wouldn't never be his mum. ect. When I did get the mental strength to fight back she stopped contact . I didn't know this would happen with my husband when I got pregnant I thought be could be a happy family. I can't cope with much more parenting struggles as the changes in him have affect parenting with him it's so painful emotionally. I know what your saying but worst case scenario I know dd would be better with a more emotionly stronger person.I've had it beaten out of me by 4 years of severe emotional stress.I've thought of much about this and I would love things to work . I do still know I'm my heart that it would be better for her and that's what matters. I would still see her twice a week. I'm still unsure about staying in my relationship but I'm going to keep working on it.I hope this makes sense

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