Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Really beating myself up right now...

(6 Posts)
jayisforjessica Thu 27-Oct-16 11:12:11

I already know I did a bad thing, so I don't need any lectures... I just need someone to listen. Please be gentle, because I'm really beating myself up right now and I don't really need any help :P

Last week (or thereabouts) I posted regarding some feelings I've been having towards my female friend, S. Posters told me to chalk it up to pregnancy hormones. I'm 22wks with twins, and my hormones are all over the place, but... For the last few weeks I haven't been able to stop thinking about this female friend, and tonight, we kissed.

It didn't go much further than that, but now I'm agonizing over what, if anything, to tell DH. On the one hand, honesty is the best policy in a relationship, right? But on the other hand, news like this is definitely going to hurt DH and is it worth it, to hurt him just to make myself feel less guilty?

Compounding the problem is the fact that I liked it, and she liked it...

I think mostly I just need someone to talk to about it. Ordinarily for relationship stuff I would talk to S!

c3pu Thu 27-Oct-16 11:15:26

Think you need to stop seeing this friend until you work out what you want longer term.

Cheating on your husband isn't going to end well, whether you're honest with him about it or not.

Myusernameismyusername Thu 27-Oct-16 11:19:01

I agree stop seeing the friend. You can choose to control this interaction with her

It's up to you whether you tell him and what the purpose of this would be - to ease your guilt, finally have it put in the open or because you genuinely want to work on your marriage?

TheNaze73 Thu 27-Oct-16 13:05:05

Tell him as you've cheated

Rentz Thu 27-Oct-16 13:25:54

Tell him you cheated. Give the guy a chance to find someone who respects him. Then you can snog your friend all you like and not do any more damage to your partner whilse you're at it.

"is it worth it, to hurt him just to make myself feel less guilty"

Yes. Unles syou think it's perfectly okay to cheta, hide it and then carry on with someone else.

category12 Thu 27-Oct-16 14:12:25

Well, last week you were agonising over feelings.
This week you're kissing (and 'not much more')..
So next week it's fucking, is it?

It's not really moving in the right direction morally, is it?

You need to call a halt. You need to stop thinking of reasons to keep it from DH and start thinking about what you want in life.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now