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need someone to talk to...

(7 Posts)
user999 Thu 27-Oct-16 09:35:54

I posted previously about my partner. I took advice and spoke to WA. I want to get out but for various reasons don't feel able to yet. Was trying to put a long term plan in place.

Today my dd who is 2. Asked for some of my food. She didn't say please, she often forgets (but she's only just 2). This set my OH off he banged his fist down on the table and screamed say please. Yesterday he screamed please at her in similar circumstances.
He apologised to me instantly, said he's feeling inadequate as a provider at the moment etc. But these things keep happening.

I cant wait it out I don't think. This will be damaging to the kids won't it? Even if its just a couple times a week?

Please don't be too hard on me, I really want to do what's best for the kids. I'm just scared of how I will financially look after all of them by myself and how he'll react.

MoggyP Thu 27-Oct-16 09:56:05

Keep planning. And bring forward the actual target time to move away.

It is OK to take your time in the planning stages. But as you can see from this, you cannot wait for a perfect plan. Make one that's good enough. And keep talking to WA, as they can help you consider if it's safe enough.

In the short term, what are you doing with DD today? Keeping them on as even keel as possible is important, and doing nice stuff together will be a good break for you too.

MoggyP Thu 27-Oct-16 09:58:55

I haven't seen your previous posts BTW (better go and look). The above was based just on what's written here.

Because it sounds pretty miserable if this is happening several times a week. And you don't seem to be factoring in any willingness from him to learn to manage his anger, and without that I just don't see how things can improve

user999 Thu 27-Oct-16 10:07:44

The previous thread was deleted as I thought he might be spying on me.

A summary:

An argument escalated, I was scared he wouldn't let me to leave with the children that our biologically his (they were asleep). I said I was going to call the police, he said to call them and he was going to murder me. He said a lot of other awful things.

Years ago in an argument he told me he was going to get a knife and stab me.

Both times I was genuinely scared of what was going to happen. He has never done anything physical to me (just to clarify).

user999 Thu 27-Oct-16 11:56:36

Its not acceptable to behave like that towards a child is it? I grew up very scared of my mother... I don't want my children growing up the same.

She doesn't really react to it anymore, I think she's become used to it.

forumdonkey Thu 27-Oct-16 11:59:39

Go and speak to the police love. Explain to them that you are scared, he has threatened to knife and murder you and is preventing you from removing the children from this situation.

user999 Thu 27-Oct-16 19:00:55

He's very manipulative and convincing I'm worried he's very capable of turning this round on me.

I think I need to do this with a plan but I will speak to WA again.

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