Feeling a bit down and lonely tonight as I feel like I have to make all the effort in friendships otherwise they fall by the wayside. So after trying really hard and succeeding in building new friendships I find myself back to having very few friends.
There's a few things that have made me feel like this. Half term next week so have messaged a few people and no reply. I had a monthly meet up with a group I do an activity with a felt like everyone is so much more connected than they are with me. A few knew each other beforehand and meet up regularly anyway but a couple of the others who didn't know each other were talking about getting together now and I felt totally excluded. Then another women I got friendly with who is a neighbour seems to have totally gone off me. I never hear from her unless she wants something and then it's frequent texts but if I follow it up with a how are you? Text afterwards I get no reply.
Plus, I ve not heard from My so called best friend for over 6 months and again contact is only made if I make the effort and recently texts have been one word replies. I know people are busy but these people obviously have time to contact others as I hear about them going out with so and so. Why am I always the person no- ones bothered about?
I am Not good in groups and don't really have groups of friends as this is a common feeling with me and I end up getting totally confused with what's me being paranoid and what's reality.
I ve always struggled with friendships. I find myself constantly unsure where I stand with people and cross between whether I am being paranoid and it's all my imagination or if people don't like me or just don't know me or if I give some kind of signal that puts people off. I replay conversations in
My mind to check I haven't said anything that would put people off or something I ve done wrong and it's exhausting. But obviously I am doing or saying something wrong as friendships go by the wayside.
My dh and sister are very popular people and the kind of people everyone loves. I ve tried to be more like them as it seems to me they are very good at listening and working people out quickly, are good fun, don't give strong opinions and are very easy going. I guess this is the kind of person people like as they are a magnet to people.
But ultimately I mess it up and end up giving my opinions too much, talking too much and perhaps being too negative. I know I need to just be myself but I find being myself isn't the person people think "oh I must hang out with her" don't get me wrong I don't necessary feel people don't like me but they aren't bothered by me. I am down their list and so they are happy to meet up with me if they have nothing on and I contact them but it involves me making all the effort. I am really tired of it.
What's the secret in getting people to want to hang out with you and maintain long lasting friendships?
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What's your secret to making people want to hang out with you?
19 replies
yummymummycleo · 23/10/2016 23:06
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