Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Why did he think it was acceptable to say such a vulgar thing to me

(66 Posts)
starboyz Sat 22-Oct-16 14:16:47

A guy I am dating, he is 36.
I have not had hot water for over a week, my boiler broke ect
I have said to him I not meeting him until my boiler is fixed which will be next thrusday.
He then made a "joke" saying "Your cats must love you because you must smell of fish"
Who the hell says something like that, I cringed and said I dont smell of fish and that isnt funny to which he said it was a "joke"

I'm absolutely disgusted, I am not overreacting am I?

starboyz Sat 22-Oct-16 14:17:18

and I have not done anything sexual with him.

Oysterbabe Sat 22-Oct-16 14:19:55

Yuck! Completely vulgar and inappropriate.

ChuckBiscuits Sat 22-Oct-16 14:20:12

I'd make sure that doesn't change. Bin him. Twat.

IhatchedaSnorlax Sat 22-Oct-16 14:21:54

Get rid. Hope you get your boiler sorted soon.

MrsToddsShortcut Sat 22-Oct-16 14:21:56

I don't know how long you've been seeing him, but bin him off. That's vile. The correct response should be "Would you like to come over and have a shower at mine?" Or something actually helpful that recognises your difficulty.

Oh, and my exH used to make 'hilarious' comments too and counter me with "It's a joke". He was an abusive arse who I am
Now Happily divorced from. Do yourself a huge favour and dump himflowers

SleepFreeZone Sat 22-Oct-16 14:22:54

Yep. Twat. Bin.

PushingThru Sat 22-Oct-16 14:24:12

At best, he's going to end up embarrassing you in front of your family & friends with stuff like this.

CalleighDoodle Sat 22-Oct-16 14:25:53

It isnt a joke because it isn't funny. It was to make you feel crap. The joke Shows he is clueless about women too. Time to bin.

TheNaze73 Sat 22-Oct-16 14:28:28

He sounds like a tool. Get rid

Oysterbabe Sat 22-Oct-16 14:28:51

I can imagine this kind of crude joke being made in a long standing relationship where that sort of humour is normal for them. Someone you've just started seeing and haven't slept with yet? No fucking chance. Ditch him.

AnyFucker Sat 22-Oct-16 14:31:24

Ugh

Bin him off

UterusUterusGhali Sat 22-Oct-16 14:33:28

No way would I be meeting him. Urgh.

ThatStewie Sat 22-Oct-16 14:35:04

He said it because he's an asshole. Get rid.

NotTheFordType Sat 22-Oct-16 14:46:22

This makes me think he's never smelled a real vagina. Surely it's only 13 year old virgins that make that sort of "joke"?

lozengeoflove Sat 22-Oct-16 14:49:01

What a prince amongst men he is.
hmm

SuckingEggs Sat 22-Oct-16 14:50:09

Kick to the kerb. He'll stink of the gutter.

Chickoletta Sat 22-Oct-16 14:53:13

Disgusting and disrespectful.

ShelaghTurner Sat 22-Oct-16 14:55:58

Disgusting. I vaguely remember some comments along that line when I was about 13 and being bullied at (a girls') school. Hated it then and hate it now. And if my DH of 16 years + said that to me I'd hate it just as much.

Liiinoo Sat 22-Oct-16 14:59:04

Vulgar. Crass. Disrespectful. Dump him.

Sara107 Sat 22-Oct-16 15:04:37

As Mrstodd says, it would be nice if he offered you the use of his bath or shower instead of making crude stupid jokes that aren't even slightly funny.

srslylikeomg Sat 22-Oct-16 15:05:25

He's a misogynist. Sack him off asap.

crayfish Sat 22-Oct-16 15:06:24

Ditto the comment about 13 year old virgins making this kind of joke. In fact that's what I'd say to him when you bin him off.

laundryelf Sat 22-Oct-16 15:13:22

Yuck! dump him that's totally out of order. Some men can be so weird. My friend is on line dating at the moment and in response to being told that she didn't have an attraction to this guy who was texting her but would be happy to meet up as friends, he sent her a dick pic! Why would anyone do that?

DustyMaiden Sat 22-Oct-16 15:14:11

I do think it strange that you said you would not see him until your boiler was fixed. Sounds like you were saying go away I smell.

I have no hot water tank so boiling the kettle to fill the bath.

Not defending what he said.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now