Ive been married for a year and a half and its been the worse experience of my life. Me and my husband have been together almost 10 years. I got pregnant before marriage and have since had 2 babies. A yr apart. As soon as married life began n i moved in with my husband, he has treated me like an outsider. He stopped caring for me. Chose to socialise, do drugs, drink, flirt with girls instead of looking after me. Left me panicking a few times. Also has hit me while pregnant n holding my eldest. The last incident he was arrested n i moved to my mums. I nèeded support n he was never there 4 me. I became depressed. Ive even taken pills 2 end the pain. I regretted it as soon as i did it. I went 2 my mums seeking help bcz my husband had told me 2 die. He didnt care 4 me or our kids. Hes wished them dead bcz he didnt want 2 look at me anymore n then decided he didnt mean it. We r seperated at the moment but for some reason ive allowed him 2 convince me mre than twice in the past few months that we could work through it. But i cant let go of the past yr and a half being married to him. Hes put me through so much the previous 8 yrs dnt even matter to me anymore. Im struggling to let go even though im angry at him alll the time. I know i dont want this relationship anymore. But for some reason my head tells me somethings else. N i let him back in only to hurt me again. Its effects my kids too when my eldest stays with him on the weekends he comes back upset and had sleepless nights waking up crying the night that he comes back to me. I hate it but my husband doesnt understand anything. He accuses me of using the kids against him when he always brings them up in the arguements. When we do argue about them its when we cnt agree on their wellbeing. I feel defeated n worn down. Its starting to effect my ability to look after my kids. I cry alot and im angry at him n his family for thinking no damage has been caused. N for assuming about me and my family. I need some kind of advice. Has anyone else been in this situation or similar?
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