Just got dumped

[Avpixie27]

So after a 3 year relationship i walk into my home to a note saying "im done" and have to carry my one year old out to live at my mothers house

[Oysterbabe]

That's cold. What an arsehole.

[Bubblegum18]

Why do you have to leave op?

[eatsleephockeyrepeat]

Oh wow OP, for you.

Regardless of how you got here do you and you child have everything you need to get through the next few days? Do you have people you can call on?

I hope your mother's someone you feel comfortable leaning on and who can help you with whatever path lies ahead. Do you have a good relationship? Besides the shock and the emotions you're experiencing (I can only imagine how you feel) is there anything practical that's worrying you in the immediacy?

[Avpixie27]

I just feel sick. Like im in shock and just crying all the time.

[Wonkydonkey44]

He's done!

That's all you get after 3 years! What a knob xx

[Offred]

Why do you and dc have to leave?

Surely dc should be able to stay in their home?

[Avpixie27]

He works full time and i work only 2 days a week so he has to come with me.

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

Are you married? I'm guessing not, as you said relationship. Is the house rented or owned? Who by?

I'm sorry he's ended it in such a cowardly way. Your mums support could be invaluable for a while, you may need some support to get over the shock

[Avpixie27]

We just got a mortgage. Im already on anti depressants as i have depression anyway

[LunaJuna]

I'm so sorry how childish of him!

I guess you'd want to stay with your mum for some time, but I don't understand why you need to leave the house . Is it a joint tenancy ? His financial responsibilities don't end with the relationship

Look to the future- you will be fine!! Keep strong

[AnyFucker]

You jointly have a mortgage on the house ?

Then if he wants out he goes

[Avpixie27]

A small part of me hopes he will just have some space and it will fix. I still love him. Im waiting for him to message me to pick my things up. And hoping he doesnt. It just hurts so much

[LunaJuna]

Oh just read your last post

You have a joint mortgage so the house is yours too and he has a financial responsibility to keep the mortgage paid until you sell it.

If you think you'll feel better staying with your mum for a few days, do it - but I just think you'd be making it too easy for him and putting yourself in a vulnerable position

Has your depression started after dc birth?

[AyeAmarok]

That is your DC's home. You don't need to leave. If he wants out, he goes.

Sorry that he's turned out to be such an arse

[AnyFucker]

Don't be such a walkover, love

If you are the main carer for your child, he moves out for "space"

[Iamdobby63]

I'm sorry 💐

I'm with everyone else, he should be the one to go. It is still his responsibility to help provide a roof over his child's head, regardless of how 'done' he is.

I know it's hard to see right now but if he is that big of a dick to end it like that and to tell you what you need to be doing then eventually you are much better off without him, as a man like that can never make you happy.

[Avpixie27]

I just cant stop crying and it physically hurts. Im checking my relationship status on facebook at least 10 times an hour to see if he has changed it as it gives me a small piece of happiness that he hasnt made it known to everyone yet

[DrinkFeckArseGirls]

Dont move out!

[Aeroflotgirl]

I am so sorry this has happened to you. Don't move, your the joint owner, it's your DC home. If he wants to go, he can bugger off. Seek legal advice, go to CAB.

[Aeroflotgirl]

He sounds awful, what a cold and heartless way.

[Iamdobby63]

Did this happen this morning?

I take it you did just up and leave? Why?

You are making it very easy for him.

[Avpixie27]

It happened two days ago. He said its cause of petty problems that have happened over the 3 years and that he cba with it all anymore

[expatinscotland]

What a prick!

[Avpixie27]

I dont want to have any more fights thats why im at my mums because i feel like if i stay he will just hate me more and it will upset my son and i just want someone to talk to. I feel so alone right now. I never thought id make a family, get the dream house and then be dumped

[SlimbobJones]

Ok, I think we need to get practical here. And angry. Angry is good.

Job One: What's the status of the mortgage? Are you on it? Is the house in both names or just his/ yours?

Job Two: Stop being sad, get really, really pissed off at what a complete wankbadger he has been. Anger is a really useful emotion sometimes because it's a motivator when we lose ourselves in grief.

Job Three: Use that anger to go back home and DO NOT LEAVE. It's your DC's home and if you have a joint mortgage your shitknobbler of an ex has no reason at all to lay claim to it. You can stay, he can't force you to leave.

for you OP, get your roar out and look after that little one.

Also, change your own status on Facebook, it's a petty thing but it's a good moment to take control of this situation and take the power out of his hands.