I've been with my bf for over 18 months. We met online and really fell for each other. We weren't expecting / looking for something long term but it just felt like we found something really special.
For background, I have DD1 (17) and DD2 (14) and separated from EX DH 3 years ago and he has DS1(12) DS2(9) and DS3(7) and split from his ex 2 years ago. My ex lives a long way away by choice (8 hours drive) and so he doesn’t see my DDs very often and really takes no part in day to day parenting. They visit him for 3-4 days a few times a year or he takes them away for a few days.
Everything has gone so well for us that we started to talk about our future together, living together, marriage etc etc. He met my girls quite earlier on (as they are with me all the time) and I met his boys around about 10 months after we met. We have introduced the children and this summer went on holiday all together for a week. My problem is my DDs, especially the older one. She says she doesn’t like him – hates him in fact. She can’t understand what I see in him, thinks he’s rude and hates him being at our house. We have talked about it many many times – she thinks I am wrong to have him at our house after she’s told me she doesn’t like it.
I have asked her why she doesn’t like him. She says she doesn’t like his political opinions (he’s quite conservative). She thinks he has bad table manners (some truth in this but it doesn’t bother me) She says he isn’t interested in her (I disagree as he has tried really really hard to engage her in conversations and helped her with homework etc.)
I really don’t know what to do. I am terrified that by continuing our relationship, I could ruin my relationship with my DDs and risk them feeling that I have chosen him over them. On the other hand, could I lose a really fantastic relationship at a point when my DDs will both be gone off to university in 3 years’ time and I already spend most evenings / weekends alone while they are out with friends / working / in their rooms.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
DDs don't like my boyfriend.
lostheloveofmylife · 21/10/2016 03:26
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