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This is not an overreaction, is it?

(14 Posts)
thisanimalfarminthecountry Thu 20-Oct-16 16:36:38

NC for this. I feel like I should know myself whether this is acceptable or not but I think my twat radar may unfortunately be a little skewed and I'd appreciate the opinions of fellow MNetters on this, whatever they might be.

Boyfriend of a few months sent me a text message earlier today 'on my way, are you in xx'. This wasn't meant for me as I had spoken to him half an hour earlier and he knew I was in work. He sent a second message to me a few minutes later saying that the first message had been meant for a customer (he's a tradesperson).

I can't really imagine him having sent a message with x's on the end to a customer. Never known him to have done so previously, including when I had been a customer of his (which is how we met).

Hopefully without sounding paranoid, last week he got a call just before midnight on a weekday whilst at my house. He didn't answer it, and put his phone upside down on the table. I did ask him why he wasn't answering but he didn't really elaborate and I left it at that. I know this sounds so childish but I've noticed he's often last been online on whatsapp until 1am or later.

So please, am I a paranoid stalker type who should be flamed, or am I perfectly reasonably put out and justified in wanting to call it a day because I've 'let things slide' previously in relationships as something or nothing - which have turned out to definitely be something!

Louisajohnson224 Thu 20-Oct-16 16:38:58

Your not paranoid or a stalker.
Personally I think you should just come out and ask him,you will drive yourself crazy if you don't

Helpisathand13 Thu 20-Oct-16 16:42:02

I agree with Louisa. Ask him. You know what you think is going on and lets be honest we aren't daft. But only he can say for sure. Don't be a mug OP ask. X

Cabrinha Thu 20-Oct-16 16:42:13

My ex is a builder who I met through booking him and who is now only a friend who still does paid work for me.
And he wouldn't put "xx" on a message!
Although he would definitely send a casual sounding "on my way are you in?" type message (usually adding - if so, ☕️ tea please!)

Did you ask him why he put kisses on a text to a customer?

melibu84 Thu 20-Oct-16 16:43:51

I agree with the others. Also, you have only been together a few months - better to find out now than later.

QuiteLikely5 Thu 20-Oct-16 16:46:36

Looks like he has someone else. Absolutely inappropriate to text kisses to a customer unless there was more to the relationship. I wouldn't believe him at all

BiscuitMillionaire Thu 20-Oct-16 16:47:39

last week he got a call just before midnight on a weekday whilst at my house. He didn't answer it, and put his phone upside down on the table.

He's seeing someone else, sorry.

There's no point asking him, he's very likely to deny it, then where will you be? Unless he thinks you two are 'non-exclusive'. You decide if you want to continue being cheated on, or if you want to finish it.

Boolovessulley Thu 20-Oct-16 16:51:12

I think he would deny it too.
Not answering his phone and tuning it over so you can't see who is calling signals to me he is seeing someone else.
I would call it s day.

FlapsTie Thu 20-Oct-16 16:51:48

He's probably shagging several of his customers. My ex was a tradesman and this is what went on.

bert3400 Thu 20-Oct-16 16:52:08

Can you look on his phone ...probably shouldn't but he may deny affair and delete all evidence ! Sorry your dealing with this & normally our instincts are correct , so don't feel paranoid

skiseasoniscoming Thu 20-Oct-16 16:54:38

The kisses alone I wouldn't worry about as I regularly put them on to the wrong people (which has landed me in some awkward situations!). Coupled with the phone call that seems a little odd!

PinkiePiesCupcakes Thu 20-Oct-16 16:56:11

A few months in and already there's doubts and paranoia?
Fuck that. Move on.

TheNaze73 Thu 20-Oct-16 16:56:57

I think you would be Pop to end it on that basis. I'd ask him by all means to satisfy your curiosity

thisanimalfarminthecountry Thu 20-Oct-16 17:00:01

Thanks for the replies everyone, I really thought I was going to be flamed so I'm glad that I'm not going mad.

Sorry, I should have added that I have made it clear that I'm not happy. He said that he sometimes puts x's by mistake to customers and that he is completely faithful - but what else is he going to say?

Looking at his phone isn't an option. I don't know his code and wouldn't get the opportunity.

I think he went to see a certain female customer. Sorry to drip feed but it's probably relevant. He got a really big job from her, but this was completed months ago and he appears to have stayed in touch without really having reason to although she still owes £££ which he doesn't seem overly concerned about.

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