Husband: Am I being Unreasonable

MsPrincessLeia · 2016-10-20 00:46:32

Hi Folks, I am a new poster so please , please go easy, I don't know any of the shortcut Acronyms or how they work either, so please bear with me, and be kind. I have taken heed of a lot of good advice from the good wise woman on this site for a very long time. Anyway, I have got to the point where I have not got the faintest clue if I am being unreasonable or not, but I have got to the point of knowing that something is going very wrong for us; our marriage and our family, and I know therapy is not an option (husband will not go, we have discussed) so I hope you fabulous girls may be able to help. Please though, I do NOT want any ' Leave the Bastard' advice. Not Helpful. I adore my husband, he is a really decent, kind and caring man, and I love him dearly. He works hard, I work hard, and we have had two gorgeous children. We are both highly qualified professionals, but over time I have been demoted to some sort of unpaid domestic slave. I have continued to work from home, running a boutique architecture and design business (from the top of our house) so keeping my professional skills relevant and my licence to practice going, while shouldering the lions share of the weight of the domestic and child rearing responsibilities. It has been unbelievably isolating, for the last ten years. It has driven me almost mad. I have told DH I can't live in this isolated bubble, and he agrees it is not good for any sociable human. But here is the rub: We have talked about the equality issue, and he will not agree to share the domestic load, if I go back to work full time. He just does not see any of this EVER being his job. The crap domestic drudgery of life is clearly beneath him, and he makes that very obvious. I am above being so petty (to not wash any of his clothes or pants!), so I continue to shop, feed, wash and provide clean clothes for our children, and do the same for him, but my husband is being a Man-child. Much better than 15 yrs ago, but he was a terrible spoilt student with an indulgent mother then ; ( x Any advice very welcome (I have come a long way, but still tearing my hair out) How do you retrain Husbands after having children? I am finding it impossible to even get mine to understand how to put a wash on/pack a dishwasher, and that is just BASIC . Lots and lots of love to all you hard working women out there x x x

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