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The fuzzy end of the lollipop, always

(11 Posts)
WhileDreaming Wed 19-Oct-16 19:23:11

Why does it feel like its pretty much always been that way for me I suppose is my question. Though I don't know that anyone can answer it exactly confused.

It feels like the most basic and simple things people hope for in their lives, for example, a decent home, job, good health, a few good relationships/ good friends etc, have always eluded me. After yet another recent setback, it seems like I have a loss of trust in expecting anything good to happen now, if that makes sense. Meanwhile, when I look around, I see lots of lucky, privileged people (who don't even seem to be aware of their good fortune IYKWIM).

Do other people have this 'fuzzy lollipop' feeling or experience? If so, how do you cope? I love and appreciate life in lots of ways on good days for sure. But it feels like the weight of difficulties, rejection and lack of support is taking its toll ...

jbee1979 Wed 19-Oct-16 20:00:06

You don't know what the "lucky" people are struggling with though. Are you just feeling sorry for yourself?

Mysecretgarden Wed 19-Oct-16 20:03:51

comparing yourself to others always bring bad feelings.
Maybe start by doing what makes you happy and set goals for yourself. After that raise your middle finger to them!

Threepineapples Wed 19-Oct-16 20:15:52

No one is immune from health or relationship issues, loss and grief, or hopes and dreams not coming to fruition.

Most people who have reached middle age have experienced difficult as well as good times.

Can you try making a mental list of things that have 'gone right'? I'm terrible for dwelling on the negatives when I feel overwhelmed, e.g. at work I'll tie myself it knots about what I still have to do instead of stepping back and being frankly marvelled at what I've already achieved smile

It's a good habit to get into.

RealityCheque Wed 19-Oct-16 21:18:30

Lollipops do not have a fuzzy end. What on earth do you mean?

Anniegetyourgun Wed 19-Oct-16 21:20:30

It's a quote from the classics (Some Like It Hot iirc).

Longdistance Wed 19-Oct-16 21:23:01

Don't you mean the shitty end if the stick?

WhileDreaming Wed 19-Oct-16 22:15:55

hi threepineapples I do understand that Into every garden some rain has to fall, and very few lead a charmed life. But what if it feels like storms all the time, I think thats how I feel. As for comparing my circumstances with others around me, I realise its not a particularly positive thing to do, but for some reason have found myself doing this very recently, which is out-of-character. Anyway I'll reflect some more on this when I'm able.

Mysecretgarden Wed 19-Oct-16 22:25:36

It sounds like you are feeling hard done by.
What is it you are finding so difficult in general?

WhileDreaming Wed 19-Oct-16 22:42:19

Thanks Mysecretgarden, I guess if I went into everything I'd (a) feel completely overwhelmed and (b) I'd be worried in case I was recognised as I have some very specific issues in amongst the general ones that makes life tough. So I think its going to be very hard to get across what I'm trying to say, at least going on the replies. I'll have to leave this one and just try and handle it on my own.

Mysecretgarden Wed 19-Oct-16 22:49:48

Whiledreaming feeling overwhelmed makes it really tough. Do you have support, like counselling?
The mind is extremely powerful and sometimes changing our look on life can actually change a lot of things. For a start you can try www.getselfhelp.co.uk

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