Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

First date and guy is snapping selfies of us

(29 Posts)
starboyz Tue 18-Oct-16 20:44:07

Is this creepy? I felt really uncomfortable.
We went to the ice bar in london and whilst at the bar he was taking selfies, I did not look at the camera so it looked like I was just next to him and one I had my hand up to my face.
I am kind of annoyed he has photos of me, I dont even know this guy.

Also I spoke to him earlier and told him I couldnt come out for our second date and he asked to come to my house, I felt this is disrespectful.
I told him i dont know you for you to come to my house and he said how he does ect and I sternly said no.

Really off putting. What do you think?

My friend said i should go out with him again just to ask him to delete the photos and see him do it infront of me.

Dozer Tue 18-Oct-16 20:44:54

Avoid!

Myusernameismyusername Tue 18-Oct-16 20:47:39

Nooo! Avoid. You can't make him delete the photos and really what could he do with them anyway

19lottie82 Tue 18-Oct-16 20:55:04

Meh, he sounds a bit annoying but you sound a bit precious.

Louisajohnson224 Tue 18-Oct-16 20:56:18

Personally think your being ott

catinbooots Tue 18-Oct-16 20:57:36

Maybe he was just excited to be in the ice bar? hmm

It's quite a good background for a selfie.

What exactly do you think he's going to do with a few photos of your face?

QuiltedAloeVera Tue 18-Oct-16 20:58:17

I wouldn't see him again.

DramaInPyjamas Tue 18-Oct-16 20:59:08

I think HE is the one that sound ott. I'd avoid him personally

TheNaze73 Tue 18-Oct-16 21:00:07

Nooooooo. Bin him off immediately

DramaInPyjamas Tue 18-Oct-16 21:05:23

I think he'd end up being one of those clingy/jealous/possessive types. Especially after wanting to come to your home after you had said no
and taking more photos after you had showed your initial discomfort in being photographed.

Just my opinion, but I don't know him, if you find him creepy then go with your instinct.

forumdonkey Tue 18-Oct-16 22:22:11

I wouldn't want a first date to take selfies of me!! You are not OTT or precious, you don't know the man and if it was me I'd be blocking him as quickly as possible

user1471545174 Wed 19-Oct-16 07:06:00

Avoid.

PinkCloudDweller Wed 19-Oct-16 07:40:14

He's no doubt posted the photos on Facebook by now implying you're his girlfriend. Maybe there's an ex lurking in the background that he wants to make jealous. Or maybe he just wants to brag. In any case, he's definitely so.eone to avoid.

Somersetlady Wed 19-Oct-16 07:50:38

Pinkcloud you must have had some really bad experiences of people!?

Op he might just have a different attitude to photos and social media than you. I see it a lot with friends and younger people that work for me. It wouldnt be for me. But I imagine of you are into social media then the ice bar would be a great setting for photos and he probably checked in too.
I am sure the guy takes lots of photos of friends both male and female and views it as a harmless passtime that many people undertake in 2016 not a way to fake a girlfriend to make an ex jealous?? . I would say if you dont have the same attitude to pics and social media avoid him as it will drive you up the wall. I have one friend in particular who cant pass wind without documenting it online. It really annoys me as her inability to engage in the here and now without her phone affects everyone in her company.

As for wanting to come to your house my guess is he is just chanching his arm. As long as he took no for an answer then whats the problem?
He has very different ideas of boundaries to you and to be honest you just dont seem suited to each other.

MostlyHet Wed 19-Oct-16 07:51:13

Run like the wind.

I personally would feel like the selfies were a massive invasion but then I'man old gimmer ppsspossibly the yoof of today have a different culture (I'd still say that even if it's widely accepted as normal among the younger generation, "no trumps yes" and if the person you're with is uncomfortable with the behaviour a decent person would stop at this point). The selfies when you made clear you didn't want them are a 7 out of 10 red flag.

The demanding to come to your house on the second date - that's the dial right up to 11.

BeMorePanda Wed 19-Oct-16 07:52:05

It's a first date. Don't overthink it.

You don't sound at all like you want a second date so don't.

Next!

MostlyHet Wed 19-Oct-16 07:52:09

What is my phone doing? Hopefully you can decipher that.

birdybirdywoofwoof Wed 19-Oct-16 07:52:34

Eww, creep with no boundaries.

Hope you are ok- don't worry about him- some women appear to like that kind of thing.

acatcalledjohn Wed 19-Oct-16 07:57:57

I wouldn't like that either. Seems a bit much for a first date...

BringMeTea Wed 19-Oct-16 08:38:14

A no from me. Cringey at best.

MidsummersNight Wed 19-Oct-16 08:45:39

I think you're being a little precious about it.
He was in an ice bar with company. I'd also want to take photos.

Not much he can do with a half assed selfie from you is there?

Just don't see him again if it bothers you that much hmm

birdybirdywoofwoof Wed 19-Oct-16 08:55:31

Guy you've just met starts taking photos of you even though you're making it clear you don't want your photo taken. Do you think:

a. what a tosser.
b. what an awesome guy.

RiceCrispieTreats Wed 19-Oct-16 08:58:46

There is no point in going on a second date with someone whose behaviour makes you feel uncomfortable.

Your own standards for creepiness were reached, and that's all that matters. If you don't feel comfortable with him, then you don't feel comfortable with him, and continuing to date is therefore pointless; don't do it.

NotTheFordType Wed 19-Oct-16 09:40:13

He sounds a bit immature and you're probably not suited but this:

My friend said i should go out with him again just to ask him to delete the photos and see him do it infront of me.
is a bit OTT, it's not like you had your boobs out!

JenLindleyShitMom Wed 19-Oct-16 09:42:54

Oh god he's one of those! Selfie addict. I couldn't cope with that. You'll only get attention from him if your FBing him.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now