Affair

[user1474319834]

recently caught out my husband having an affair it had only been going on for a couple of weeks the ow is my family cleaner she also used to clean for me she is good friends with my mother in law she knows my life and I feel she fancied a bit of it. Since I caught him he came back for a week but I lost it with him as he has broken my heart, he has since been seeing the other woman every night, the last couple of days he has been round as I have been really ill with the shock of it all he tells me he loves me and feels so confused as he is now fond of the other woman next week he is going on holiday with our daughter and some of our friends which I also was meant to be going on he says he needs to clear his head !!! How do you react to this nightmare I have been with him 15 years I know I should not take him back but that is a lot easier said then done I want those two relationship to finish as she is also not his type the complete opposite to anything I would imagine in fact I once asked him if he thought she was pretty his reaction was no she is a dog !! Please help me xx

[tissuesosoft]

I'm so sorry you're going through this!
I know you said that she isn't his type but he wouldn't keep going to see her if she wasn't. It sounds like he wants the best of both worlds and keep you both hanging on.

[rockabillyruby82]

Oh for you OP. I'm sorry you're going through this, I'm one year on from discovery of XH affair. There was no question of us separating, he lied, he manipulated, he re wrote history and he minimised. I'm sorry to say your H is the same. How long has the cleaner been around? It's likely the affair has been longer than 2 weeks. He doesn't love you, he spent time with her after you found out. I think you need some NC time, think about what you want. If it's a loving, happy marriage that has gone.

[Ineedmorelemonpledge]

Hard as it is, I would really stop beating yourself up about the OW, and whether they are suited for each other, what her intentions are and whether she's good enough for him.

They've both behaved despicably and the recent events of him being back in touch with her have proven that. Can you trust him again to try and make this work OP?

Personally I couldn't.

Instead focus on you and what you want, what's good for your family and how you will move on from this. Do you have a friend or family member to talk this over with? I'd also think about getting legal and financial advice on moving on without him.

Don't understand why he is going on holiday. I would ask him to remain at home and go myself to get a break and clear my head.