A bit of background - I have been married to my DH for 5 years, together for 9 years and we've known each other all my life (family friends). He was with his ex on and off for about 8 years; they’d often split up and get back together, having girlfriends/boyfriends in between, but when they split the last time it was for good and she has since married and had a DS (long story there but I won't go into it!). They have a DD who lives with us as and DH and I have a DD who is 5.
Anyway, we had a fairly amicable relationship with his ex, contact was mainly about their DD but when their DD came to live with us things got ugly and his ex now hates me and blames me for the situation. According to their DD, her mum is unhappy in her marriage, wishes "things were different" and has told their DD that she "still cares for him" (meaning my DH). She started to contact DH, sometimes late at night when she knows I'll be in bed, to ask him if he fancied a chat because she's had a drink and she's bored... (He fobbed her off saying he was off to bed as he had to be up early). She sent him a Facebook friend request (which he accepted because I told him to) and she’s also added him on Xbox (she thinks of herself as some kind of gamer girl). Last month she sent him a series of selfies via snapchat, which he didn't open as he doesn't really know how to use the app (he downloaded it so he could send me funny pics of him and our DD) she then text him to ask why he hadn't opened her snapchat messages! And now she's text him to say she's looking into getting gig tickets for their DD, and would he like to go with them??!! He declined as he can't get the time off work, and he wouldn’t have gone even if he could. Whenever she texts she never mentions me, it seems like she is pretending that I don't exist and I'm pretty sure she thinks I don't know that she's contacting my DH (DH has told me that she's a few sandwiches short of a picnic basket!). I'm pretty sure she wants to get back with my DH as she has openly told their DD that she misses him and still cares for him. He maintains that he has no feelings for her and that nothing she does will ever come between us but I can't help worrying about her actions and the way she seems to think she has some sort of claim to him. I know I am probably being paranoid and that I should just leave her to it. And I do trust my DH explicitly. It's her I don't trust. Do I tell her to back off or should I leave her to her delusions and trust that DH will deal with anything inappropriate if it happens? I'm also pretty sure her DH knows nothing about her contact with my DH, and I don't think he'd be very happy about it!
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
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Relationships
My massive problem with DH's ex-wife...
user1476706647 · 17/10/2016 14:18
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