I was talking to a friend about someone we met who recently split up with his cheating wife. She commented that he was really sad, and that this was of course different from me, as I had known something was wrong with my marriage so it didn't come as such a shock. In other words she doesn't think I was that upset.
It couldn't be further from the truth. My ex treated me like crap for almost a year until I was nervous wreck, then I found his email password and was sickened to see how horribly he had betrayed my trust for several years and lied about me to our friends. By then he'd convinced me it was my fault for being a bitch. I was depressed and had obsessive thoughts of how I could die. I had therapy which brought up a load of childhood crap and was on antidepressants.
But I couldn't say any of this to my friend at the time. My heart raced just admitting what my ex had done. I was brought up not to cry as it is "attention seeking" according to my mother, and I find it acutely embarrassing talking about or showing my feelings. I am working on opening up more but it is not easy. I am partly afraid of sounding bitter and boring and putting people off of being with me.
Still, I did describe some of the things my ex did ... shouldn't she guess that it might have been just as hard for me as it is for this man?
Is anyone else as crap as me at admitting their feelings? I feel a bit like an alien trying to fit in among human beings tonight.
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Opening up to friends V. boring them with your moaning
ravenmum · 16/10/2016 22:26
Sounds like your 'friend' is a massive bell end if she's trying to belittle your feelings on this or compare you to someone else.
We all have our own way of dealing with things, doesn't make you cold hearted or smug, kids self contained.
Do you have other more understating friends with whom you could talk it over? Sadly there are lots of people on here who have been through similar and could totally empathise with you!
and even though it's only breakfast time 
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