Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

What would you think of this?

(20 Posts)
MozzchopsThirty Sun 16-Oct-16 10:29:23

Talking to a man online, seemed normal then sent me a meme that said

'The only mark a man should leave on a woman'
With a picture of a woman's arse in a thong with a massive red hand print on her cheek!

Opinions??

DoubleCarrick Sun 16-Oct-16 10:32:17

Are you into that kind of thing? That would dictate what your reply should be.

DH is gentle, loving, kind and caring but has given me a few consensual marks in our time together.

He's probably sussing you out. It's not for everybody. You can say "not my thing" or "sounds fun"

AttilaTheMeerkat Sun 16-Oct-16 10:33:20

What did you think when you saw that?.

Hope you then finished the chat swiftly followed by blocking.

Just awful. Some men truly hate women, all of them.

crayfish Sun 16-Oct-16 10:33:20

I would run like the wind. Who on earth things that horrible sentiment is appropriate to send to a stranger? (Or anyone else for that matter)

Lucky escape for you.

MozzchopsThirty Sun 16-Oct-16 10:35:00

To give it some context we weren't talking about sex
And after he said he was making a point about not being violent and hating anyone who is (again out of context)

I think it would have been entirely appropriate if you were in a relationship and sent it to your OH as you both know where you stand
To send it to a woman you haven't met? hmm

MozzchopsThirty Sun 16-Oct-16 10:36:39

I did say to him
'So it's ok to leave a mark on a woman as long as it's during sex and on her arse' hmm

I love a bit of ass slapping with the right person at the right time but this set off a huge alarm

crayfish Sun 16-Oct-16 10:37:19

How he thinks that is the right way to make a point about non-violence (and strange that he feels the need to do that at all, let alone at such an early stage) is beyond me?

In the context of a loving relationship or even a discussion about sex, ok maybe if that's your thing. But otherwise? No.

MozzchopsThirty Sun 16-Oct-16 10:38:13

Crayfish my friend said exactly the same, what kind of man even needs to say that before a first date

wonderingsoul Sun 16-Oct-16 12:56:04

The fact he said that hes against violance is a big red flag imo esp if it was out of no where and 9 out 10 times they turn out to abusive twats.

The picture itself wouldnt be offputting to me in the right context... if you where sexually flirting or in a good relationship.

Costacoffeeplease Sun 16-Oct-16 13:02:13

Big red flag - denying violence when he hasn't been accused? hmm

angryangryyoungwoman Sun 16-Oct-16 13:02:23

He just threw it in, out of any context or relevant conversation. That is weird. I would not be happy with that

ptumbi Sun 16-Oct-16 13:35:41

'denying violence when he hasn't been accused' - yep, def big red flag.

And suggesting that a man has the right to leave a mark on a woman's arse - so long as he isn't violent hmm - is another red flag.

Doesn't sound like you'd get much choice in the arse slapping.

Millionreasons Sun 16-Oct-16 13:37:07

Alarm bells going off big time. I think that's disgusting.

TheNaze73 Sun 16-Oct-16 14:05:55

Really depends what you're into. Wouldn't do it for me at all but, would appeal to others who are sub. Sounds like he's hugely misjudged this though

ageingrunner Sun 16-Oct-16 14:08:02

I would assume that he was likely to be violent because if he wasn't the thought of it wouldn't have crossed his mind

Yourface Sun 16-Oct-16 14:08:07

I would lose interest on the basis that he's using memes to communicate. He sounds like a meme loser.

MozzchopsThirty Sun 16-Oct-16 19:13:56

Thanks all, I've already stopped talking to him

Another one bites the dust confused

SomeonesRealName Sun 16-Oct-16 19:17:49

This is the marvellous thing about online dating you can so easily dump them and move on when they show their colours. Keep going OP till you find a nicer one x

Simonneilsbeard Mon 17-Oct-16 09:48:38

I know the picture you're talking about OP, someone of my acquaintance posted it on Facebook recently and it made me feel uncomfortable. I'm not sure why, I didn't really analyse my feelings about it at the time but I didn't like it and I unfollowed the person who posted it ..the whole sentiment behind it was just 'off'. If someone I was speaking to online sent me that out of the blue i would be blocking them.

Millionreasons Mon 17-Oct-16 10:18:19

Yes agree that the online chatting before you meet can tell you a lot about someone. Also talking on the phone. You can save yourself a lot of wasted time.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now