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Single over a decade

(3 Posts)
Milkycocopops Wed 12-Oct-16 21:37:13

Got involved with an ex a couple of months ago and now feeling overwhelmed. He is lovely, kind and considerate. But he's moving too fast for me. I feel like its an extra demand on my already busy life. I do want to see him but I need to kindly ask him to slow down. He contacts me all the time. It's nice but I need to do stuff. I'm used to having my own space. Indulging myself in my books. Any hints on how to get him to put the breaks on without making him feel hurt.

Somerville Wed 12-Oct-16 22:11:03

A good relationship has good communication at its heart. So you need to be able to say it.
If texting and phoning all the time is the issue, then say 'I'm switching my phone off this evening because I want to relax and read.'
If it's going out with him all the time when you want time at home alone, then just say that too.
A useful phrase when you want to make it clear that this is about you, and not a rejection of them, is "I'm the sort of person who..." (needs a few evenings a week just to relax on my own/ gets overwhelmed if I don't get trough time on my own/ or whatever.)
(If he's hurt by you needing time alone, or talks over you and says you don't, then make him your ex again.)

Milkycocopops Wed 12-Oct-16 22:26:07

Thanks somerviĺle. That's good advice. I've not been assertive enough. I'll be sure to use those words when we next speak. smile

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