Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

People that don't do Christmas

(30 Posts)
randomer Wed 12-Oct-16 18:26:22

What do you do?

How do you get away with it?

hollinhurst84 Wed 12-Oct-16 18:38:25

No DC here. I work the majority of it anyway (and new year)

Mamaka Wed 12-Oct-16 18:52:12

We don't do Christmas but I don't understand the questions.

Somanyvipers Wed 12-Oct-16 18:53:36

No children either and I usually have to work anyway.

offside Wed 12-Oct-16 19:13:45

One of my closest friends 'doesn't do Christmas'. He doesn't accept presents but will buy people presents as he believes that just because he doesn't celebrate it, he should acknowledge traditions with his nearest and dearest.

He joins in with festivities etc as a social thing but for all intents and purposes he "doesn't do Christmas".

offside Wed 12-Oct-16 19:18:43

Sorry posted too soon.

Conversely my ILs "don't do Cgristmas" and it really irritates that me that they'll come to our home on Christmas morning, where we have a DD, without any gifts for her but will happily take gifts from us and eat Christmas breakfast. I have put my foot down now though and said, maybe harshly, I don't want them.visiting Christmas morning if they're not going to be in the spirit and not at least bring a selection box for DD to open. I come from a family who love Christmas and it's all about the kids so it's really alien to me that my ILs just aren't interested, which is OK, but I just find it insulting that they'll accept gifts from us and DD and come specifically for Christmas breakfast, but just don't get involved in any other way, it's all take take take.

Shitonyoursofa Wed 12-Oct-16 19:27:00

I have tried to opt out for several years but no - one takes any notice of me! There was one awkward Christmas where we decided to go away to avoid it all and said to everyone 'please don't buy us any presents, as we won't be buying any this year' and OHs and my family still bought us pressies even though we'd bought them nothing. I'm happy to do the spending time together, house all dressed up with twinkly lights thing, but it's the buying of pointless unneeded presents to exchange for other pointless unneeded presents that I object to (I make an exception for children, not a total Grinch!). But my family get really upset / offended if we don't just go along with it.

PsychedelicSheep Wed 12-Oct-16 19:36:45

I just suggested to my family that we only buy for the kids this year, I don't need any presents and am skint and could do without having to buy any! Either that or a secret santa for the adults, cutting down on shopping time and expense.

I like the food, drink and family aspect but I'm not into the whole buying endless crap thing. If I had no kids I don't think I'd bother with it at all. My DP is from a Muslim family so they just have a nice meal together without presents or decorations or anything and that suits me fine!

leaveittothediva Wed 12-Oct-16 19:40:48

I agree, that would seriously irritate me also. You are giving them Christmas Breakfast. That's plenty. No presents for them. I mean what pressure is on them, they are not having to buy presents for anyone or cater to Christmas dinner or anything. Stress free Christmas for them, and they are too tight to get the child something for the holidays. That's just shocking OP. Sorry but I love Christmas, and stuff like this makes me furious. I'm with you 100% on this one.

Left Wed 12-Oct-16 21:33:45

I'm not really into it... a couple of times my son's gone to his dad's and I've just spent the day alone which has been quite easy going. Now that I've passed my driving test there's much more expectation to spend with family... Always lovely to see them but I'm not really into pointless gift exchanges and can't have a drink as it's such a long drive. If my son tells me he wants a quiet Christmas at home this year then I'll arrange to see family another time.

Lottie999 Wed 12-Oct-16 23:34:50

Hey, I'm another alien that can't be arsed with Christmas. I have spent Christmas Day alone previously due to living far away from close family, which didn't bother me in the slightest. I am from a close knit family & I'm happy with a low key nice dinner & just one little present each for the niece/nephew. Seeing people that go OTT make me cringe. I'm not particularly well off, nor am I skint, I can provide for myself, no way would I consider saving for months / getting into debt buying huge expensive gifts like others do. I guess I've been brought up to just enjoy family time with nice dinners etc & excessive spending / buying not needed gifts is unnecessary. Although there have been times I have bought small sought after items as gifts for family members in the past. Often in the past people have asked how was your Christmas etc, what did you do ? What did you get ? The look on their faces was pure horror when I stated happily spent it on my own & received no presents...It actually really annoys me that people are as nosey to actually look concerned when I stated that. I come from a loving family whose actions display that they love me all year round & I don't need unnecessary gifts & all the hassle of travelling hours to prove it for one day only. Although now I live closer to the family, This year I probably will have a nice low key dinner with the family on Christmas Day but I feel it's no big deal if I don't & spend it on my own again. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions etc but I'm sick & tired of this ' concerned look ' I get when I declare I'm happy to spend the day on my own !!! P.s I work lots in a stressful environment so sometimes it's nice to just shut off & hide away.

ForalltheSaints Thu 13-Oct-16 07:07:42

If you are not Christian and opt out of Christmas then you have my respect for in a way being honest. I would only think it a bad thing if money stops you and is the reason why.

RiceCrispieTreats Thu 13-Oct-16 07:20:31

What aspect of Christmas is it that you don't want to do, OP?

And who is pressuring you so that you feel that you need to "get away with it"?

In my family, we love the fancy food and decorations and togetherness, but have done away with any gift-giving. By mutual consent, because one side suggested that it seemed unnecessary and wasteful, and the others agreed.

Do you think something like that could work for you?

cariboo Thu 13-Oct-16 07:22:37

The idea of spending Christmas Day alone terrifies me but I know it will probably happen sooner or later. Last year it was XH's turn to have the DC and I was invited to spend Christmas with my dad and stepmother. I was so worried that I'd be alone; I know it's irrational but the idea gives me the horrors.

I have a love/hate relationship with Christmas. I love the traditions but hate the expense and the work. I've been cutting back drastically since I split with XH. The DC get a few gifts from me and their grandparents and since neither of my DC like turkey, we only have it if we're invited out for Christmas dinner.

PatSajack Thu 13-Oct-16 07:33:01

We're Jewish. We usually go away somewhere warm for the entire week and barely even notice which day is actually Christmas. But in years when we can't do that we just spend the day relaxing as a family. We cook a big breakfast, take a long walk, play board games, do crafts if the kids are so inclined, take a nap, and in the evening go to a movie and out for Chinese or Indian food. We do participate in the "holiday season" by giving gifts to teachers, service people, etc., and we do Hanukkah presents with our kids, but it's exponentially less pressure and hassle than Christmas is for most families I know.

Gymnopedies Thu 13-Oct-16 07:48:56

Don't buy them presents if they don't do Christmas.

Ragwort Thu 13-Oct-16 07:57:46

What do you mean - 'how do you get away with it'? confused

I think too many people are far too worried about what other people think about them and how much they have to spend.

I enjoy Christmas, I am a Christian, I like celebrating at Church and giving small gifts to close family and friends. I never feel 'obliged' to do anything I don't want to do or spend more than I can easily afford at Christmas.

Oliversmumsarmy Thu 13-Oct-16 08:05:42

If Christmas just took up one day per year then I might enjoy it more. It is the fact life seems to get put on hold for 2-3 weeks that is my biggest irritation.
I was put off the present giving and receiving when I was about 5 because I hate writing with a en and paper. I was a painfully slow writer. When I received presents I was made to write innumerable thank you notes. It got so bad that by 6 I said I didn't want a birthday party or get Christmas presents.
I still got presents and still had to write out thank you notes. I just ended up resenting receiving presents.

randomer Thu 13-Oct-16 10:00:01

I read the phrase " don't do Christmas" here and it intrigued me.

Personally, I dislike the cold, dark winter months. My energy is rock bottom. My childhood Christmasses were terrible so it is tainted with those memories.
When the kids were little, we made some effort.
Now it is ok , a low key affair.

I find the spending repulsive tbh

heron98 Thu 13-Oct-16 10:43:27

I am really not bothered about Christmas - not for any religious or political reasons, it just doesn't interest me. But then I don't have kids so it doesn't matter.

However I still go round to my mum's as it pleases her and I buy gifts for people (I actually do enjoy this part). To be honest the best bit is my work shuts down for 2 weeks.

However next year my parents are talking about going away and my sister and niece will be at the inlaws so I will probably end up doing nothing and that suits me.

divineinterruption Thu 13-Oct-16 12:57:03

I love Christmas time, I love the panel show and comedy show Christmas specials, I love being allowed to eat chocolate at any time of the day. I love Christmas music as it makes me feel nostalgic for something nobody has ever experienced (perfect idyllic cosy snowy family Christmas anyone?), I love the tinsel and decorations.

what I don't like is people feeling pressured to by crap to people they don't like/know. or send cards to absolutely everyone they have ever seen or even heard of. or having to take part in any sort of party with acquaintances or half-strangers (including distant family members). I hate those 'family gatherings' where people feel obliged to attend even though they'd rather be at home in front of the telly in their pyjamas. I hate when people buy lots of special party food that ends up being wasted.

Just spend a day at home with a box set, that's a great Christmas right there.

ilivehappilyeverafter Thu 13-Oct-16 14:56:33

Coming to your home on Christmas morning to accept gifts and have a free feast without the common courtesy of bringing a token gesture for your generosity is down right rude, but to not even bring a child a small gift on Christmas Day is shocking. They wouldn't have made it over my doorstep after the first time they tried it.

Anniegetyourgun Thu 13-Oct-16 15:38:19

I love being allowed to eat chocolate at any time of the day

Allowed? confused I'm going to eat some chocolate in a minute, in October. I'm allowed because I'm a grown-up (technically) and I feel like it, so there.

Agree that people "not doing Christmas" themselves - to the extent of not bringing a child a present when they visit (is it their grandchild?) - but leeching off other people's work and generosity is pretty ghastly behaviour. Just tell them you're not doing Christmas this year either so they won't be invited round. Then have a good day with the kind of people you can relax and enjoy yourselves with.

StillCounting123 Thu 13-Oct-16 16:04:09

We don't 'do' Christmas in the manic running about buying 10000 gifts for people sort of way.

We put up a tree, have presents, eat lots of food. But we've always told kids that the presents come from us.

We are Christians, but come from a denomination which doesn't mark Christmas, and as it falls on a Sabbath this year it'll just be a usual service, no mention of birth of Christ as no one is sure when he was actually born.

flirtygirl Thu 13-Oct-16 23:22:51

I do exactly what my mum did, absolutely nothing. We watch films on that day, no special food, no decorations, no tree and no presents and its great. Its always so peaceful everywhere, i love driving around xmas day or going park.
I do have kids as well and it never bothered me as child and it doesnt bother them.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now