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Going out heavily pregnant ?

(59 Posts)
butterfly92 Mon 10-Oct-16 09:20:47

Hi all i am 38 weeks pregnant and with no signs of labour coming just yet lol i have been confined to my house all week and my partner has been working! My friend and I planned to have lunch before she goes away so i said today is best day but my partner is really grouchy and moody saying that i am selfish that i am putting her first instead of myself and body and why would i risk driving i said im not driving im getting the bus cos i cant fit in the car anymore and he said well everyone will laugh at you becos a heavily pregnant woman shouldn't be going out!!! Please tell me is he for real?? I cannot believe i am being made to feel guilty for going out to have lunch and that i am putting my baby in jeopardy which is not true!! PS he never said anything like this to me before until now . I know he is worried. Should i stay at home then? Feeling so frustrated sad he cant drop me cos he is working

Afreshstartplease Mon 10-Oct-16 09:25:13

Have you been advised not to go out?

ferriswheel Mon 10-Oct-16 09:27:24

That is ridiculous. I popped at 42 weeks with all of my three. You can't hide for a month.

BitOutOfPractice Mon 10-Oct-16 09:28:06

What a load of bollocks. Go out! Tell him not to be an arse on your way out

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Mon 10-Oct-16 09:28:19

I was still clubbing a week before I had my ds! (no alcohol tho!)

CalmYaTits Mon 10-Oct-16 09:28:43

Your husband is being a twat. Are you supposed to stay housebound until you give birth?hmm Go for lunch with your friend and enjoy yourself!

FenellaMaxwell Mon 10-Oct-16 09:29:30

Tell him to sod off - your body will tell you what you can and cannot do! The days of "entering into a confinement" went out with the Victorians! Have a lovely time at lunch!

HeddaGarbled Mon 10-Oct-16 09:29:44

Is he worried about what you will do if you go into labour when you are out? I can kind of see that going home on the bus while in labour may not be ideal. Make proper contingency plans.

I had a pub lunch with my MIL the day before I had one of mine, though obviously I didn't know it was going to be the day before when we went out. She took me out because I was fed up being stuck in the house on my own, just like you are. No one will laugh at you.

Iamthinking Mon 10-Oct-16 09:29:51

a. It could be ages yet, really.
b. The chances of it coming on full force and you giving birth in a car park are extremely small. You will more than likely get twinges and signs way in advance of real onset of labour.
c. You are not putting your friend ahead of yourself, you want to go, so that is putting yourself first. It will make you happy and that is a good thing. What does he mean really there, what are you really putting yourself ahead of?
d. Of course no-one will laugh at you, that is a very mean, unkind thing to say to you. Not on. Has anyone laughed at you this week??? No.
d. He is being ridiculous. Push back and really enjoy yourself in your last few weeks as best you can.

originalusernamefail Mon 10-Oct-16 09:30:30

If you feel up to it and you haven't been advised to stay in by a doc / mw then just go! At 38 weeks you potentially have another month of pregnancy left. That's a long time to be stuck in! It's not harmful for baby to walk around outside, if this was DC 2/3/4 you'd have the school / nursery runs to do. Enjoy your lunch.

SpecialStains Mon 10-Oct-16 09:30:40

Your DP sounds controlling. I'd go out for the day with your friend and not go home if he says nasty stuff like this to you often.

Fwiw, I went to an evening engagement party 1.5hrs away from home with DH and drove back so he could drink at 37 weeks. And I had a high risk pregnancy. Going out for the day will not affect the baby (unless you are going out to do any bungee jumping or whatever). Your 'd'p is unreasonable and should not think he can dictate what you do.

Also no-one will laugh at a pregnant woman on the bus. What the actual fuck? How does he think car-less pregnant women travel?!

shatteredmumtobe Mon 10-Oct-16 09:32:55

39 & 2

Enjoyed a lovely lunch out yesterday.

DH being grouchy is all the more reason to go out, everyone was super sweet and super positive when I was out yesterday.

Go and have some you time, pretty sure you deserve it flowers

Joysmum Mon 10-Oct-16 09:33:40

Beware this isn't the start of a slippery slope.

...Pregnant women shouldn't do this, then mothers shouldn't do that.

Please make sure you nip this in the bud as this is the start of an attitude that women can't do what they want. sad

MarklahMarklah Mon 10-Oct-16 09:33:49

Is he a time-traveller from 1900? Just go out!

originalusernamefail Mon 10-Oct-16 09:33:49

I actually finished my xmas shopping at 38 weeks last year, waddling round the shopping centre!

Doesntfitthemould Mon 10-Oct-16 09:35:12

I have never heard anything so stupid! You know your own body. You'll go crazy if you stuck in the house now and then what about when the baby comes.

AttilaTheMeerkat Mon 10-Oct-16 09:36:17

Do not feel guilty whatsoever for going out with your friend.

What is he going on about though is disturbing. Through his comments this sounds to me like he is trying to control you.

I doubt very much his behaviour will at all improve once your child is born, he is bound to further escalate the power and control against you.

BolshierAryaStark Mon 10-Oct-16 09:37:16

Wtaf? He sounds like a knob from the fucking dark ages, you're pregnant -not ill or dying hmm
Tell him to stfu & go out for a lovely lunch.

BagelDog Mon 10-Oct-16 09:37:21

I worked to 39weeks, hours drive to and from work, doing anaesthetics on labour ward... none of the team raised an eyebrow and they of all people should know what a very pregnant lady should do... made sure I got breaks and a chair but otherwise totally normal service. At least he is thinking about you and the baby is the positive spin I guess?

Iamthinking Mon 10-Oct-16 09:37:50

Good point made above about whether this was dc2/3/4. You would be carrying them while pregnant, humphing back and forward to schools/nurseries, taking them out here there and everywhere.

Is he always so anxious? Is this a high risk pregnancy?

nancy75 Mon 10-Oct-16 09:38:11

I think I was still working at 38 weeks, which involved a train and a tube every day!
I went out all the time before dd was born, I went to bluwater on my own when I was a week overdue, I was bored stupid sitting indoors.
You Dh sounds like he thinks he is somehow in charge of you, make sure he knows that's not the case

DrWhy Mon 10-Oct-16 09:39:03

Your DP is crazy! I went to a work leaving do at 40+5 after a sweep that morning! Drove both ways but had a friend there who would have driven me home or to the hospital if needed. I felt fine, I'd had no suggestion of labour, stayed as long as I was comfortable and came back. Labour started with twinges the next morning and lasted 13 hours, the first 2 or 3 of which I'd have been able to drive anyway.
Being gently active in the last part of your pregnancy is good if you are able to be, bring upright and walking is much better for getting the baby into a good position than lying back on the sofa.
I agree with those saying that it won't be good for either your physical or mental health to be stuck in the house for the next 2-4 weeks. You'll probably want to stay in for a while after the baby is born so a month or more inside the same 4 walls!!

Runningupthathill82 Mon 10-Oct-16 09:39:06

What the actual fuck? Be careful you nip this one in the bud, OP. His attitude is not OK.

FWIW, I was at a 60th birthday party two hours from home on my due date with DC1. It was my last chance for peaceful cake for a LONG time!

With DC2 I just carried on as normal right up until she was born, taking DS to nursery and so on. Because with subsequent children you have even less option to just stay in the house...

NapQueen Mon 10-Oct-16 09:39:33

Oh my god! I'd be livid if that were my dp.

I went out for a Chinese and a dance with some friends at 40+2. Went into labour 4am next day. I still maintain dancing to Dolly Parton got it all started.

lalaloopyhead Mon 10-Oct-16 09:40:04

Eh? I would possible agree if you were planning a weekend away or something, but lunch with a friend - what does he think will happen?! I took dc's to a Christmas party when I was 39 weeks and went into labour while I was there....plenty of time to finish the party and drive home before thinking about getting to hospital.
And no, no one will laugh at a pregnant woman on the bus or anywhere else for that matter - what a strange thing to say!

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