I asked him to leave and he did. What next?

[pinkcandyflossy]

I've posted in here a few times. First I couldn't understand where my boyfriends money was going and it came back that most of you thought he had a gambling addiction, and this turned out to be true.

So after lots of promises he's stopped etc I just don't believe him anyway and it all came to a head yesterday and I asked him to leave and he did. We have two children but are not married. We own a house together though this is a new thing and so it's not like he has ever laid a lot towards the mortgage or anything. All his massive amount of lending is not in my name and not secured on the house.

I just don't know what to do. I've really believed in this relationship and even when everyone else said to finish it I didn't as I loved him.

Day 1 and I feel really positive about the future without him.

I'm worried if he can force me to sell the house but his investment in it is minimal and with his small contribution to the mortgage he has been living here after all so I'm not sure I owe him anything? Anyone else had a similar situation?

The thing is it is just so easy to have him back and try and carry on as normal. What to do.

[user1471544305]

You'd look back in ten years and think what a waste if you had him back. Can you afford the house on your own? If so can you get a mortgage in your name?

[pinkcandyflossy]

Yes I can afford it easily on my own. But it is both our names. No idea how to get it just in my name...

I think I'm feeling so positive because I'm still in disbelief! Like he's just gone out and will be back later almost.

[MaMaof04]

Stay strong. I hope some lady/gentleman around will know better the legal entitlements of your BF regarding the house. I hope that if it comes to the court, the judges will have the best interest of the children in mind when they rule ownership of the house. I think the best as at now is:
1- collect all the documents that show how much he contributed toward the house purchase versus how much you contributed;
2-To calculate the % of the house price that his part has paid for. (A good lawyer who works for an actuary can do that. I think even the mortgage company/bank can help you with that).
3-To collect documents that show his gambling habits- so that the judges are convinced that it is in the best interests of your kids that the house remain in your name.
You might either be able to convince the judges that the house is all yours and what he contributed was just the equivalent of his notional rent; or they might ask you to pay him back what he paid - the amount might be just what he paid for + interest; or in the worst case scenario it will be the % calculated in 2 above. Maybe any amount would be reduced by the notional cost of rent.
I am just rambling as a matter of fact because I did not want to let your post unanswered. But as I said: I really have no idea of his legal rights regarding the house; and how the judges would consider splitting its ownership given that- if my understanding is correct- it is equally on your joint names. I hope someone around wll help you understand better where you are standing now. Just be strong and do not bring him back in- it will just complicate the legal matters of ownership and of course it is not very healthy for your kids to have him around. Good Luck!

[pinkcandyflossy]

Thanks mamao for your post. That's all good advice. We only have had the house for less than a year so there is no equity etc.

[MaMaof04]

Thinking of you