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Why am I the one who feels bad?

(7 Posts)
orangeistheonlyfruit Sun 09-Oct-16 08:40:03

Asked my husband to leave last night. Found out he's been lying to me again for a while now about really all sorts - he seems to be a pathological liar.

But today why is it I'm the one who feels guilty about where he's going to live etc. And I feel like he has been "wronged".

I have been living with his lies for a long time now and have always fallen for his statements that he'll change and now I know everything there's no need to lie any more anyway so he's basically said things that are logical and I've gone a long with it. To be clear as far as I know he has not cheated on me, this is just his own 'issues'

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Sun 09-Oct-16 08:51:08

It's such hard work living with a liar. My ex was the same. . Until it got to the point he was blaming our money struggles on my kids spending all out money I put up and shut up. . He had lied about his wages and was spending it on man's crap(pub/golf /mates lunches out / and making me feel shit. I was borrowing cash for bills etc.
It won't get any better for you I believe. By keep letting things go is just giving him the opportunity to scale up the lies.
Sounds like being single would be a better life.

orangeistheonlyfruit Sun 09-Oct-16 09:42:15

Yes I think you're right. I think it's totally over . The fact that I'm not even that angry about all the lies this time tells me something is missing from the relationship.

Kr1stina Sun 09-Oct-16 09:49:16

You can't a relathionship if you don't trust him. Lies destroy love

pinkcandyflossy Sun 09-Oct-16 11:02:59

It's just such a shame though.

He thought by eventually being honest and showing me his action plan that it would be ok somehow? All the lies would be wiped clean?

I think he was only confessing to make himself feel unburdened. Maybe he had enough of keeping all his secrets.

pinkcandyflossy Sun 09-Oct-16 11:03:35

I have name changed mid thread FYI.

Kr1stina Sun 09-Oct-16 11:15:02

So he doesn't need to lie now because you know everything ?

That's not exactly the same as " I've seen the error of my ways and have become an honest person " .

Admitting to lies that someone has discovered lies isn't the same as being honest .

I have no idea what an " action plan " to be honest might be. Apart from " be honest " .

Having an action plan isn't the same as doing something .

Today I could write down an action plan to have triplets, discover the cure for cancer and become prime minister . Doesn mean it's going to happen .

Even if I REALLY REALLY mean it .

Even if you REALLY REALLY want me to do it .

It's all bollocks. Don't feel guilty , he has killed your relathioships . All you are doing is getting the death certificate .

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