Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Relationship breakdown

(5 Posts)
Whenwillitstop1 Sat 08-Oct-16 19:11:50

Not really sure what I'm hoping for here but just feeling very alone and depressed. I met my partner a year and a half ago and got pregnant accidentally quite quickly. We both decided to keep the baby and he was very supportive. We moved in together (his decision) and although we argued sometimes things were generally good. After the birth I had health complications and he was again very supportive and helpful, doing night feeds etc. since then I've been quite ill on and off but our relationship has been good. Out baby is now 7 months old and lately he has been very cold and distant, he said he's stressed and miserable but won't talk about it. He keeps shutting me out and getting angry with me, in end barely speaking to me. He's moved out temporarily (supposedly) but I've noticed he's taken nearly all his stuff. He doesn't want to talk to me and brings his mum whenever he comes to get the baby, I just don't understand how it's got to this and he keeps pushing for more time with the baby overnight etc. and I'm worried he might go to court and use my previous mental health issues against me to gain full custody. I don't have any friends and feel so alone.

garlicandsapphire Sat 08-Oct-16 20:27:13

Dear OP. Im sorry I really don't have any advice for you. I am so so sorry for your situation - I know how exhausting and draining it is to have your first baby, it can be depressing too - and you do need support. But I think maybe your DP is just tired and depressed too. Having babies is a long haul and its too early to assume everything is wrong in your relationship or that he would try and take your child away. Maybe you just need to say, we are both hurting, tired, exhausted and a bit depressed, we need to support each other. Think maybe how you both can get a break and also maybe how you can get some date time too? But I'm not sure how to advise you - others may come along and give you better insights. Just lots of care and support to you.

SandyY2K Sat 08-Oct-16 20:36:16

It sounds like he wants to break things off with you. That he's trying to get practice with having the baby alone by himself overnight.

It could be that he's met someone else. Prepare yourself for the worse and you won't be blindsided.

MrsBGharai Sat 08-Oct-16 20:58:34

I had a very similar situation. Ironically the illness was directly as a result of the pregnancy. It was very debilitating, incorrectly diagnosed, and I ended up having an organ removed as a result. Still trying to ascertain why the illness was as severe as it was,but poor diddums couldn't cope with my illness.
The twat married me nonetheless, and then made a big deal about how hard it was for him. Dick. It was clearly a joy for me!
He left me, and kept bringing someone when he picked up DD. I assume he had inferred that he was in fear of his life, and tried to accuse me of being abusive! I was barely awake, let alone abusive!
Anyway, he had been shagging elsewhere, and used the 'poor me' strategy to try and get everyone on side. Funnily enough, I gave him enough rope, and he revealed his true colours in front of our friends, and my family.
He even suggested that I had exaggerated my illness in order to make him my slave, as I didn't die when he left! Self obsessed prick!
His OW knows he was married, so I won't tell her about how many dating sites he is on.

Men like that deserve contempt. He's not the man you thought he was. You are amazing for keeping things together.
Consider this a very lucky escape!
flowers

Whenwillitstop1 Sun 09-Oct-16 13:15:36

Thank you for the support, it's a very crappy situation, I'm so confused because before this he was a good partner and very loving and supportive. I don't understand why he's being like this, his mum tried to get him to talk to me when they dropped the baby off the Other night but he refused. He keeps telling me he's not ready to talk but I don't understand what we had to talk about, I thought we had had a small disagreement. Now he says he doesn't know If he wants to be with me. I have a feeling that there is more to this than he is telling me.

Mrs b, sorry you are going through all that, it sounds very difficult and a glimpse into what my future could be, my illness was a direct result of pregnancy too and he previously seemed to be fine with it but now I don't know... As for the OW, why on earth do women get involved when they know a man is married/attached?!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now