Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Ex says I am sick

(24 Posts)
diamondmoon Sat 08-Oct-16 09:31:01

If your ex of 3 years sent a text to you saying I have mental health issues and I am not a sane mum. And then says he noticed for a while I have changed and thinks I hiding to him that I have devolved signs of Huntington's like my mum had. What a shit way to ask me by a cold text. I feel so sick by what he said I have not answered the cold shit, I have just turned 40 I now feel he has been watching every my every move,
I have no idea if I showing signs but would want that pointed out by loving family instead of cold shit.

Cabrinha Sat 08-Oct-16 09:42:11

If I though my XH was showing signs of HD (and had a parent with it) then I would tell them, and not wait for family to do so - because I wouldn't have access to his family and wouldn't know what had been said, and would feel it was important. And yes, I would watch for signs.

BUT: I wouldn't be sending texts about not being a sane parent. That's just abusive. You know the history - and I'm guessing the history is that he was nasty. So - don't react to it.

Have you had genetic counselling and testing? flowers

diamondmoon Sat 08-Oct-16 09:55:13

No I talked to doctor last year but she said I am still very young but my decision. I am freaking out. He could of got In contact with my dad if he worried. My kids are only 8 and 12.

Hissy Sat 08-Oct-16 10:10:51

Usually messages like this are arseholes like him projecting. He knows what to say to upset you with the minimum amount of words possible, and that's what he has done.

My ex said that my son will hate me... Yeah of course he will, I'm the only one on this earth who has been there for him, literally every family member we have has let him/us down, or hurt him/me.. The ex was a shit dad from day 1 and he was proud of it...

What are the signs for Huntingdons and do you honestly see any traces?

Make sure all texts are relating to dc only, otherwise he has no right to see you or contact you. See if you can arrange drive by drop offs so he has no contact with you. Teach him to respect you or fuck the fuck off.

He's an arsehole, but you knew this already.

diamondmoon Sat 08-Oct-16 10:18:57

He says it's my behaviour emotional state and mannerisms that's he has noticed. These can be symptoms I suppose along with unusual movements like feet twitching which I not have.
My son who is 8 is living with him at the moment as he had severe behaviour issues at school so tried managed move to his dad.
The ex is saying how I been dealing with it is not sane but yes I get very upset with what's gone on with son. He has threatened going for custody to keep him for good so I very scared he right and I will lose my son

Iamdobby63 Sat 08-Oct-16 10:21:12

Is your ex the father of your children, is that why there is still contact?

Iamdobby63 Sat 08-Oct-16 10:21:32

Sorry x post

diamondmoon Sat 08-Oct-16 10:30:39

Yes he is and my son is there during the week until he able to go to school.
I worried he will keep him now because of what he saying

SandyY2K Sat 08-Oct-16 17:32:56

Ignore the text.

He's trying to get a reaction.

Is he medically qualified at all?

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Sat 08-Oct-16 20:23:17

Maybe it he has noticed your change in behaviour because it's being in his company that makes you feel unwell??

diamondmoon Sun 09-Oct-16 08:23:00

Well yes I probably have been unstable in his company as the stress he has put me through.

abbsismyhero Sun 09-Oct-16 12:08:36

get the genetic testing done and ignore the text its highly inflammatory he is trying to provoke an unreasonable reaction and set it into your mind you are sick

ignore ignore ignore

user1471442986 Sun 09-Oct-16 12:12:13

Ignore. Ignore. I know it is hard. My ex does similar, but just with mental health issues. I'm crazy,I have this disorder, unfit to parent....

TheVirginQueen Sun 09-Oct-16 12:12:47

Ignore the text. It's a classic drama bait. He wants to reel you back in.

If and when you do face the test (and that's a level of bravery that he doesn't have to face himself) then he would not be the person you'd turn to for advice or comfort.

It sounds like he would undermine you at every step rather than support you practically so you are perfectly entitled to ignore his text.

TheVirginQueen Sun 09-Oct-16 12:15:43

I wouldn't take the test right away.

I'd spend a year or 2 years researching it, finding support groups, getting your mind and body and health all lined up. Yoga, tai chi, blasting it out in a good work out, whatever makes you feel strong mentally and physically. maybe that is just going out walking with a woman you find through a support group who is facing the same dilemma.

Squeegle Sun 09-Oct-16 12:17:14

Poor you. Ignore his projection. They definitely have a tendency to turn us mad these ex partners. But if he had really noticed anything I don't think he would have waited till now to mention in a text! Take care of yourself, try and detach from his wicked words (designed to hurt you in the place where he knows it will hurt most), and carry on carrying on. flowers

diamondmoon Sun 09-Oct-16 12:27:30

Thank you all for advice and comfort. He has made me feel very self conscious about it all now. I spoke to my dad and he shocked and horrified in what he said. I asked him to be honest and he has no clue why he has said this. He said if carries on speak to a solicitor. Also as my son is with him during the week we have been messaging each other and ex has read all my private messages and that why he calling me insane as well. So my son is not allowed to tell me he misses me.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe Sun 09-Oct-16 18:55:01

How has he managed to read your private messages?

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Sun 09-Oct-16 19:06:07

If he sees a solicitor and you also see one - make sure to recite all the crap he has been feeding your child. This is detrimental to your sons mental health and a judge won't take too kindly to that.
If it makes you feel any better my ex told my ds x3 I was a prostitute!!
Charming!

FrancesNiadova Sun 09-Oct-16 19:30:44

DiamondMoon so you're sick are you?
You've had your Mum's illness highlighted to you and linked to you by someone who, let's face it, doesn't have your best interests at heart.
Can I ask you a question?
No matter how acrimonious things got, would you say something like that to your ex, knowing about his Mum, knowing how much it would worry him, eat into him and make him question his every move?
No, you wouldn't?
So you have your answer.
If you're worried, go see your GP, but do NOT discuss it with a man who would deliberately, knowingly, cause you this amount of emotional harm.
flowers

diamondmoon Sun 09-Oct-16 19:52:40

I have been sitting in here all in bits. I have struggled on having the kids with me and stopping my self from crying. Yes u have said the right thing would I have said the same thing to him and no I wouldn't. This is the absolute worse thing that could happen to me so him telling me in such a hurtful way. You think I want my kids seeing me get sick

diamondmoon Tue 11-Oct-16 07:26:32

Saw doctor he wants me to get test done so more scared now.

ftmsoon Tue 11-Oct-16 07:39:18

I think having the test done now, means you have lots of time to prepare for the future. Plan and plan and ensure your DC are cared for after you've gone.
It does NOT mean you will die tomorrow!!!!
I'm really sorry your Ex is such an arsehole but he doesn't need to be involved with your personal medical needs until you ask him to be when future planning.
And I am assuming there is a small possibility the test will be negative? (Sorry if that's not the case.)
I can't imagine how hard this will be for you, but knowledge is power.
Good luck!

diamondmoon Tue 11-Oct-16 07:45:42

When u have parent with it there is 50 50 chance of getting the gene.
And I could be positive but ex is wrong that I sick now but show no symptoms for 10 + years.
There is no test to say if illness is active now that's why people show many symptoms first.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now