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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

He hasn't come home...

37 replies

Jess89Amie · 08/10/2016 07:35

Hi all
This is my first post on Mumsnet - but seriously freaking out.

My boyfriend went out last night - at around 7pm with "the boys".

I had dinner a glass of wine and went to bed around 11:30pm, expecting him to roll in around 3am.

It's now 7:30 - no sign. No text. No call.

I tried calling/texting and no answer!

Should I be worried?

He has never done this before Sad xxx

OP posts:
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JellyWellyKelly · 08/10/2016 07:40

Do you have any of his friends numbers you could send a text to see if he possibly fell asleep at theirs?
It's probably something like that which has happened.

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RedMapleLeaf · 08/10/2016 07:41

Can you get in touch with any of his friends?

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Fruitellaz · 08/10/2016 07:42

Could he have stayed at a friend's maybe? Strange not to let you know though I guess.

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PoldarksBreeches · 08/10/2016 07:42

It's probably not anything worse than he has got wasted and slept on a friend's sofa. However that is bad enough. You say boyfriend which could mean anything from dating for 3 months up to 3 kids and a mortgage. The seriousness depends on the situation.

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GizmoFrisby · 08/10/2016 07:43

Did he mention where he was going? Is his phone ringing or off? I'd be concerned too. Is he trustworthy? Or could he be up to no good?

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Bagina · 08/10/2016 07:43

Been there. It's shit. Fb messages to all his friends or whatsapp. "Is he alive? Is he with you?".

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Scarydinosaurs · 08/10/2016 07:47

Do you live together, or are you at his/he at your's?

Have you been arguing recently?

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Lunar1 · 08/10/2016 07:59

Hopeyhrs just asleep on someone's sofa.

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Rubberduck2 · 08/10/2016 08:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Forgettheworld · 08/10/2016 08:13

I can only imagine how sick you feel and the thoughts going through your head. Hope he's home soon and just passed out at a friends place

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laurenandsophie · 08/10/2016 09:05

OP, did you find him? Everything ok?

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TheNaze73 · 08/10/2016 09:06

What Poldark said

I hope he's back soon

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rainbowstardrops · 08/10/2016 09:09

Have you found him yet?

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Ledkr · 08/10/2016 09:25

I notice there's threads like this every weekend and they are nearly always about men not coming home!
I notice that most grown adult women can manage a night out and Get home or at least let someone know they won't be Hmm

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GizmoFrisby · 08/10/2016 09:40

I noticed that too. I wouldn't be able to cope if it was me. I'd hit the roof. Surely these men can let their partners know where they are? Take 2 mins to make a phone call. Always makes me suspicious they are hiding things if they don't answer/make contact.

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ImperialBlether · 08/10/2016 09:42

I know my ex would've been up to no good if he stayed out all night. Once you reach a certain age you really don't want to sleep on a sofa and you'll get a taxi home to avoid it.

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DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 08/10/2016 09:45

YesLedkr I wonder how cool he'd be about OP doing this.

Hope he's home nowJess. If he doesn't normally stay out overnight with no warning and without contacting you it must be concerning but try not to worry. I'd not start checking round mates until midday.

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number277 · 08/10/2016 09:49

Has he come home? I can imagine how sick you must feel. Flowers

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Ledkr · 08/10/2016 10:15

A lot of the men I know who are or have been cheats have form for this, funny that.
Grin
I used to be a total party animal bit always always made it home to my bed, the only time I didn't was when I was in someone else's.
As imperial says, most adults would move heaven and earth to get home to their own bed when a bit worse for wear.
That said op I do hope he's ok.

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BombayBonsai · 08/10/2016 10:23

For me this is a massive deal breaker but I've made that clear from the very start. I had an ex that used to do it alot, he was at OW's. I waited until I had concrete proof and then walked but went through hell getting to that point. I've made it crystal clear with DP that if he did this he would return to a locked door.

Has he done this before but let you know so therefore thinks it's OK? A conversation definitely needs to be had if this isn't acceptable to you.

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Forgettheworld · 08/10/2016 10:29

My OH has never done this I would go mental but last weekend one of his friends past out at ours I didn't know he was there until I saw him in the spare bed the next morning. He had 17 missed calls of his wife so I messaged her telling her he was safe and at ours. It doesn't always have to mean he's cheating

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CaptinMuma · 08/10/2016 10:32

Hope you find him soon and the worry is over x

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LoveYouTooMum · 08/10/2016 10:32

I'd be pretty worried, but I'm sure he's fine.

Flowers

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Offred · 08/10/2016 10:40

I'm another one who would never accept this again. Yes it is harsh if it was actually just drunkenly falling asleep somewhere but having had XP who used to randomly go missing into other people's beds for days at a time I'll make no apologies for saying it is one of my boundaries that cannot be crossed.

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yoink · 08/10/2016 10:49

has he rolled in yet OP?

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