Severe Attraction/Crush on a much much younger dental student

[Weetawu]

I am having difficulty resolving much to my surprise an attraction/crush on my dentist. The fellow who has been working on a minor dental problem for a few months now, I find that although I am old enough to be his mother, my feelings towards him are less than motherly.

I believe that in the beginning of our "relationship" he would be kind and funny as a means of relaxing me prior to starting work. This evolved into getting to know each other, and light flirtation. I also noticed that after a few sessions he no longer needed the support of an assistant present in the room with us.

Never was he forward with me in any way. But evidently, simple conversations with him made him blush on several occasions which forced him to stop working on my teeth until he collected himself. Unfortunately, I found that I really, really liked this guy and would like to see him outside of work.

Yes, I do know better intellectually speaking. I am much older and others who know him insist he is gay. That is something that I did not pick up on or maybe I just didn't want to pick up. Our final meeting was tense for both of us and at the time, I was glad that I wouldn't see him again. But now I want to - and not for his dental work either.

My question is would I be rejected badly if I tried to contact or run into him and ask him simply for a drink, lunch etc.. Like hims so much that I can't get him out of my head. Never did he mention, wife or girl/boyfriend but again, neither did I about myself. Just was very happy around this young man.

[deste]

Just don't do it, it won't end well.

[ChequeOff]

Why would those who know him insist that he's gay if he's not?

[Duplolady]

If it is as you describe, i think you owe it to yourself to see whether he will meet you for a drink or whatever.

What would be the best way to ask him? It would be better to ask him out of work I think (there must be ethics about this... I'd not be surprised if it wasn't allowed). Good luck x

[TrishanFlips]

Ask him if he'd like to do some extras on your root canal.

[Secretsandlies222]

You're much older than him and he's rumoured to be gay? Don't do it unless you're prepared for rejection.

[miaows]

No harm in asking him out - if he says no for whatever reason well at least you tried. Your head will be done in if you don't at least try - you never know what might become of it. My partner is 12 years younger than me and it is a great relationship - so being a bit older is not the end of the world - good luck!

[Gobbolinothewitchscat]

My DH is a dentist. He says he should say no if you asked him out. You are a patient and possibly vulnerable. With the way the GDC are at the moment, it wouldn't be worth it. Even if he referred you elsewhere and waited a bit so there was clear bluewater between you being a patient and actually going out

It's quite common for patients to ask dentists out. They're not all money grabbing shitbags, despite what the Daily Mail might believe . Most of them are nice kind people and it's part of their job to listen and make patients feel relaxed. Google transference.

[TheNaze73]

Just ask him, the worst he can do is say no.

[YabuDabbaDoo]

It all sounds a bit fanciful to me. In your shoes I would sigh, smile and move on.

[Happybunny19]

You said you progressed to getting to know each other, but neither of you knows of the others marital status. How much can you actually get to know someone with their hand stuck in your mouth. Don't ask him out it's weird.

[TwentyCups]

I always fancy my dentists or doctors, people who fix my car. I think some of it is because they are making something better for you. However, this might be different. I say ask him out, you've got nothing to lose and everything to gain.