Obviously he disagrees! But who is right?
We had a terrible year last year and he behaved like a total dick. I was heavily pregnant and my dad was dying. OH has a job where he has lots of " meetings" that are essentially just them all down the pub. Last year I never knew if or when he was coming home. He would stay in the pub all afternoon several times a week and not bother coming home until late.
We spent most of the year rowing or not speaking. This year our baby was born and he vowed to behave better. He stopped staying out into the evening and would always be home on time. However, the "meetings" continued and so he would still come home tipsy once or twice a week.
This was a large contributory factor towards the anxiety and depression I am now suffering ( and trying to seek treatment for). He now has a new job and so the all day in the pub meetings are hopefully a thing of the past. However, I still get really anxious if I suspect he might be in the pub or may have had a drink. He doesn't understand as he has never been on the other side of it.
Last week he agreed to do sober October. It was one small way I said he could help me and show me that he does care and does want to make things better ( for me mentally and our marriage). I'm sure you can guess where this is going! Tonight he is home, and ok he is sober, but he has had a few beers. He tried to pass it off as 1 bottle but that turned into 1.5 pints. Never known him drink halves so doubt that very much.
I'm hurt and angry and sitting in the bedroom because I don't want to be around him. I feel like he has stuck two fingers up at me. He thinks I should be congratulating him on going until now without a drink, since he has had lots of invitations to drink, and for controlling himself and being sober.
That all feels like bullshit to me though. My anxiety stems from never knowing if he would cone home and what state he would be in. So the fact he couldn't even make a month without alcohol doesn't look like a good sign to me.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Feel my husband has let me down
Endoftheroad16 · 07/10/2016 20:11
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