Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

No contact

(20 Posts)
pinkpixie83 Wed 05-Oct-16 07:14:33

My boyfriend has gone none contact since Saturday? What do I think - are we still together or not?

I think he is sulking as I said something he didn't like Saturday lunch time as he let me down on Friday.

But where do we go from here? He's not making any effort to contact me and to be honest I'm still annoyed with him, my point from Saturday was about feeling unimportant and like I wasn't a priority to him and his behaviour is just compounding this feeling. I want him to show he understands my point and make an effort:

Not much of a relationship is it? Haven't seen him for a week and not spoken to him since Saturday.

showsomeclass Wed 05-Oct-16 10:45:43

Hey

I've been here before.... before I say any more - how long have you been together?

Mistykit Wed 05-Oct-16 10:49:41

Been there too. Walk away; he's trying to "train" you.. if you say something he doesn't like then he won't respond, thereby trying to train you not to say things he doesn't like. He sounds selfish/self-centred and controlling. From my experiences, this will not get better / change

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Wed 05-Oct-16 10:51:18

He has confirmed your suspicions.
Tell him things aren't working for you anymore and walk away.

AnyFucker Wed 05-Oct-16 10:51:40

Get a better boyfriend, this one is crap.

ImperialBlether Wed 05-Oct-16 10:52:35

I wouldn't even tell him it was over. By the time he's decided to talk to you you could well be with someone else - someone who doesn't sulk and ignore you.

BitOutOfPractice Wed 05-Oct-16 10:57:09

He's punishing you for disagreeing with him so that you don't do it again.

It is a relationship. But it's a bad one. I think he's done you a favour. Block him and move on

Hope you're OK. It is a horrible, mind fuckery thing to do to you

RunRabbitRunRabbit Wed 05-Oct-16 10:59:32

Are you together any more? Um, well, I hope not.

I hope you've chucked him for being a dick.

He is deliberately doing the thing you said bugs the hell out of you. Why would you still be together after he did that?

TheNaze73 Wed 05-Oct-16 11:05:20

He's walked Op. Block him and move on

pinkpixie83 Wed 05-Oct-16 11:07:01

We've been together two years!

I have told him before as we are meant to be adults ignoring things we don't like isn't the way to deal with things:

If he contacts me he answer will be - well I thought you didn't want to talk to me as I'd put you in a bad mood!

We have been here before what he can't see is not dealing with the issue makes me crosser!

BitOutOfPractice Wed 05-Oct-16 11:08:44

If he contacts you OP the best answer will be no answer. Anything you say will just open the discussion up

Do you really want to be in a rela
tionship with someone who treats you like this?

CatyB Wed 05-Oct-16 11:12:33

I think you have already made up your mind, because what you say is no small issue. If he is exhibiting behaviour like this now, imagine what it would be like when it comes to more serious things, like living together.

showsomeclass Wed 05-Oct-16 11:18:40

I'm actually going through a similar thing.. not zero contact - but very very little because of a stupid drunken rant I decided to do on Sunday night which I regret, but can't change

We actually sound quite similar in that he goes quiet on me quite a lot... I find that ignoring him back is the only way to deal with it and wait for him to make the first move, but do consider everything people are saying. If this is how he is now, it is how it will always be

Focus on yourself, pretend he doesn't exist! Make positive changes in your own life and if and when he contacts, you may not want to be with someone who does this to you and makes you feel like this!

Itsnotmyfault1 Wed 05-Oct-16 13:45:14

This is game playing and controlling. It's actually really destructive in a relationship and leaves the other person second guessing why he does it. It's really confusing and will likely become emotionally abusive.
It's taken me 30 years to realise this in my DH and I wish I had 'run for the hills' instead of trying to change myself to 'fix it'😞

pinkpixie83 Fri 07-Oct-16 07:46:21

Maybe I'm as bad as him, and I haven't made any effort to text him either!

I feel like I can't approach him until he addresses my point from Saturday but I imagine he's waiting for me to make the first move!

springydaffs Fri 07-Oct-16 09:50:53

Urgh. Do you want a relationship that's conducted across a football field? A morse code relationship.

If not then knock this on the head and find someone who will be by your side and willing to maturely address conflicts.

If your boyf is this bad when you're not even committed, it doesn't bear thinking about what he'd be like if you were committed with mortgage, kids etc.

Squeegle Fri 07-Oct-16 09:54:33

How would you feel if a friend sulked like this? Hopefully you wouldn't put up with it. Sulking is pathetic. My ex was like this. It becomes a real problem when kids involved. Get rid.

0dfod Fri 07-Oct-16 09:57:19

This relationship is a dead end Op, block and delete, move on.

GiddyOnZackHunt Fri 07-Oct-16 10:00:53

Good relationships don't involve games like this.

CantThinkOfAQuirkyName Fri 07-Oct-16 10:30:25

I cba and really don't see the point in sulking.

And you're both doing it.

You're not talking to him and he's not talking to you?

Not very helpful but you both need to change your ways

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now