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Help!! Partner has cheated on me and got back in contact with her again?! Also just figured out I'm Bisexual help!

(4 Posts)
12323nasdas Sun 02-Oct-16 12:12:36

Hi Everyone,

I hope you're all well.

Need some advice as in a very sticky situation! My partner and I have been together for nearly 6 years now, we have a little girl together. 2 and a half years ago I got pregnant with our little girl, my partner was a bit weird during pregnancy. He would stalk other girls on Facebook a lot, he "just kissed" a girl that he met at the pub near us, he was also addicted to porn...

When my little baby girl was only 3 months old, we went to Malaysia, for my partner's work, I agreed to go with him as he didn't want to leave us for 6 weeks, we went with his female assistant. In Malaysia he had an "emotional affair" with this female assistant on a trip into the rainforest whilst I was stuck with my baby waiting for him. He came back to me telling me that he didn't love me anymore, didn't feel attracted to me anymore, that the spark wasn't there anymore... I was obviously devastated and yelled at him... he then got some sense and said that he was sorry that it was a big mistake, that he was just freaking out about being a young dad...

I find him one month later facebook stalking girls again.... he says he's sorry...

I battle with severe depression and anxiety, feeling ugly, useless, a bad mum...

I gave him one last chance... 2 years later, a few months ago my partner had sexting Skype chat that I found on the computer... goodness knows what else... he said that he was stupid, that it was never going to happen again. So I said to him that I think it's never going to stop, I don't know whats going on behind the scenes, but he obviously doesn't have eyes just for me so I tell him that because he's a great dad and I love him that we could try an open relationship as a last resort so that he won't feel guilty about wanting to be with other women, and that our relationship / trust can grow stronger as he hadn't had any proper previous relationships so thought perhaps might be a lack of this... One condition though - not to go dating with anyone that we know / previous women he has cheated with obviously is a big no no...

I start recovering from depression and anxiety (literally a few weeks).

I started dating, had 2 dates and realised that I'm Bi-sexual, so I guess that's one good thing out of this mess, he hasn't dated anyone so far, but talked with other women online...

Anyway today accidentally went on his facebook and I find that this female assistant that he cheated me with 2 years ago has just accepted his friend request this morning even though he told me he blocked her years ago... Looked on facebook - no message history with this woman, checked phone too - no texts...

What the hell do I do? I just want to be a good mum to my little girl, I want her to have a lovely dad, because he is however he keeps on hurting me beyond belief! please help!

rhiaaaaaaaannon Sun 02-Oct-16 12:14:59

I don't think the relationship is working, do you?

kate33 Sun 02-Oct-16 12:34:05

Is this truly what you want for yourself?
Bisexual - fine
Open relationship - fine (but it doesn't seem like you really wanted one with your dp)
Partner letting you down and hurting you over and over in the exact same way - not fine.
Partner that has a detrimental effect on your mental health - not.....oh you get the idea
Why do you stay with him? It seems like it's clear cut and believe me I know it's easy to say but in my messy experience it just gets harder the longer you stay.
Your little girl will have two happy parents and you will be free to heal and go on to meet someone wonderful who doesn't cheat.

SandyY2K Mon 03-Oct-16 00:41:07

He's no good for you.
He hurts you every time.
Coparent and move on from him.

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