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One week on...........

(4 Posts)
Glitterball86 Sat 01-Oct-16 13:19:36

So, I posted last week about how I lashed out/attacked my EXDP
It's been over a week now and I'm still really really struggling - I'm not even sure if this is the right thread to post on but thought maybe writing everything down might help in some way (and I'm not looking for sympathy or anything)
On Monday, I had my first session of CBT , it was hard sitting their and explaining my feelings to a complete stranger and there were many tears. But I was given some 'homework' for the week and came out feeling slightly more positive.
I then had a phone call from Ex DP after the session, we had a good long open and honest talk etc - we were even laughing (something which we haven't done in a while in all honesty) and it felt amazing! I really started to see things more positively.
We have had minimal contact during the week although we have spoken face to face/ text on a few occasions - I decided it was best we only text to communicate about the children because everything is still too raw for me.
I then recieved a phone call on Thursday from a company called First Response (who the Police refer any case to where their are children involved) and again, this was ok, I explained the situation, that we were being amicable etc etc and she said she would talk to ex DP and go from there.
After she had spoken to ex DP - all hell broke lose again and , once again , I was accused of lying etc etc (and what he said they had told him wasn't what I had discussed with them but that's neice here nor there).
I recieved a further phone call from them yesterday explaining there would be no further action from them going forward but they had recieved a referral from my HV (my DS had his review on Wednesday) and it really felt like she was trying to get me to admit to things which weren't true , for example, she made reference to my alcohol issue (I don't touch the stuff at the best of
Times, let alone during pregnancy) and this has all completely thrown me off.
I'm still struggling to eat and sleep and crying a lot. I really hate feeling like this and I don't know how things are going to improve or how I can help myself going forward 😓

Glitterball86 Sat 01-Oct-16 13:26:05

I wish I could undo everything as I still really love and miss him

TheNaze73 Sat 01-Oct-16 14:26:43

You can only look forward OP & try not to have regrets. You're making small steps every day

Glitterball86 Sat 01-Oct-16 17:20:36

Thanks, I know, and I had never imagined I would be feeling this poo
All the time. You are right tho, small steps....

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