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Whats the secret of happy marriage

(35 Posts)
feelingnum Fri 30-Sep-16 21:10:15

Been arguing with a friend whats more important to keep a marriage healthy.
I think respect she say love!!!
What do u think

Happybunny19 Fri 30-Sep-16 21:33:17

Friendship, laughter, lust and feeling secure and cared for. Too much to describe in just one word.

T0ddlerSlave Fri 30-Sep-16 21:36:30

A facet of love should be respect. So love

OhTheRoses Fri 30-Sep-16 21:39:12

Love
Respect
Kindness
Loyalty
Honesty
Luck
Comfort
Laughter
Optimism

If you have all the above there is still a need for hard work and compromise.

25 years here. Mostly ups.

feelingnum Fri 30-Sep-16 21:43:45

Am with you here but was thinking what is the thing that you cant survive without
I sadly know 2ppl who is deeply in love but no respect. The things they do to each others when they are angry is unforgivable in my books but for them they would make up as if it was nothing.

PurpleNurple69 Fri 30-Sep-16 21:48:28

Feeling safe and secure - I value trust above everything else. If there's a lack of trust there's a problem.

OhTheRoses Fri 30-Sep-16 22:20:29

If just one then I think it's comfort. We switched the order of our vows from: For the avoidance of sin, the procreation of children and mutual comfort to. For mutual comfort, the procreation of children, the avoidance of sin.

We have taken comfort from all the other things I said.

allthatnonsense Fri 30-Sep-16 22:21:35

Patience, bucket loads of patience.

kavvLar Fri 30-Sep-16 22:46:00

I think kindness. When we remember to treat each other with kindness is when our marriage works best. The small kindnesses like a little consideration, a bunch of daffodils, a cup of tea, a favourite programme recorded.

MyCatIsABiggerBastardThanYours Fri 30-Sep-16 22:49:54

Trust I would say

Trust that you have each others back
Trust that you are loved back
Trust that you are both in this together

That and a shared sense of humour will get you through pretty much everything.

drsholmes Fri 30-Sep-16 22:52:34

Love definitely, but also respect - letting your partner be themselves and accepting them for who they are.

Longdistance Fri 30-Sep-16 22:52:40

Living apart wink

whattheseithakasmean Fri 30-Sep-16 22:54:54

Marrying the right person. Putting their happiness first. This has worked for us girls the past 23 years

whattheseithakasmean Fri 30-Sep-16 22:56:11

For us, not us girls blush we are not a same sex couple

idontlikealdi Fri 30-Sep-16 22:56:45

Patience and the ability to compromise, trust.

kelper Fri 30-Sep-16 23:01:22

Don't actually get married ;)

BestIsWest Fri 30-Sep-16 23:04:27

Equality. Compromise. Trust. Humour.

I don't accept that putting someone else's happiness before your own is necessarily a good thing.

BestIsWest Fri 30-Sep-16 23:05:03

Yes, kindness is vital.

MulberryBush12 Fri 30-Sep-16 23:06:05

Mutual support and love.

Herhighness Fri 30-Sep-16 23:08:44

Accept when you are in the wrong, don't worry about the little things in life, accept you won't always agree, you are, after all two different people.
They will always do stuff that's annoying, and so will you. Be there for each other and above all be kind and keep the love. 37 years here and going strong.

Chickydoo Fri 30-Sep-16 23:09:12

27 years
Ignore them
Laugh at them
Nag them
Bore them

Love them.....always

thegoodnameshadgone Fri 30-Sep-16 23:09:48

Just to look at them and thank the God that they brought him to me smile and him feel the same every time I look at him. Sorry I know i make myself sick confused we are still that in love

BadgerIsGrumpy Fri 30-Sep-16 23:10:42

Communication, respect and trust. Sometimes love isn't enough.

weegiemum Fri 30-Sep-16 23:21:41

For better, for worse,
For richer, for poorer,
In sickness and in health,
For as long as we both shall live.

We promised the above, and "to love and to serve you, as Christ commands" (we chose the order of service we used because of those words - we're Christians).

It boils down to being with each other in love, trust, honesty, respect and friendship. Wanting the best for the other.

We've been (mostly) happily married for 22 years.

whattheseithakasmean Fri 30-Sep-16 23:22:12

I think putting someone else before you is the very definition of love. And it has to be mutual or it is a world of sadness. But the question was about ahappy marriage. I put my DH first and he puts me first. If you aren't able to do that, it is not love as I have experienced it. Accept no substitutes!

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