Hi ladies (and gents!) this is sure to be a long one. This is my first post but I am more than aware I will probably get lambasted for this post and told I am a horrible person!
Hubby and I, together for 6 years married for 2.5 we have 1 DD aged almost 2.
Since I fell pregnant (which was immediately after the wedding) things have changed and gone more and more down hill. I have spoken to my mum and sister and they are great but tend to sit on the fence as they don't want to sway my decision. They won't. I'm a big girl now who can make my own mind up. Apart from this apparently!
First trimester, like most of us, I suffered with real bad exhaustion. I was commuting into London every day and working long hours so when I get home I would have a quick bowl of cereal and fall asleep and wake up at 9pm ready for the evening. This is when alarm bells started to ring. Well this want acceptable. Apparently I had a nerve to be doing this why was I so tired? Why couldn't I stay awake? All I do is sleep in the evenings!!!
Next, during the first trimester I bled ALOT, it was very stressful but no reason for it. It scared me and we didn't have sex. In fact I didn't have sex throughout the pregnancy (quite a few handjobs to keep him happy!) as I develope very painful SPD which resulted in me having a planned c section which I was actually very pleased about.
Day 1 home from hospital my daughter does not stop crying and will not go to sleep. He turns over in bed and says "what is wrong with that fcking kid" this hurt bad.
Long story short, my princes had severe reflux and multiple allergies. He didn't believe me that something was wrong until it was REALLY bad. GPs did nothing A&E did nothing. She didn't keep ever. Cried from light to dark. Projectile vomited always. After extensive research I found that going private was the only way I would get answers. He approved eventually only if I paid for it. So I ended up paying for all the private appointments. She needed numerous medications and things were better not perfect with her. Luckily she has now grown out of it. I have never had so little support in all my life. I had no sleep non. No family local no friends either. I was severely sleep deprived and dealt with a screaming babe 24/7. I ended up on anti depressants to cope.
He isn't the dad I thought he would be. He is impatient with her. Snaps at her and only gives her attention when it suits or in front of family/friends. The other night she soaked through her clothes into the bed sheets. He was doing the night shift. He changed her clothes but put her back to bed on pissy sheets!!!! I was horrified and gutted.
Everything about him is starting to get on my last nerve. He eats like a savage, farts all the time. His posture is dreadful his head is nearly in his plate when eating. He brushes his teeth once a day. I came home from work Saturday afternoon to find the place a shit hole and DD still in her night clothes and her pissy sheet still on! We've had crisis talks many times. But I think the rot has set in?
We recently went to an event and I admittedly had the hump. He was having a jolly up with is pals filling his face with food while I was running around after DD (who is also a high need toddler)tying to find a highchair and then before I know it all the food has gone and I was super hungry! We got home and he was pissed. Swore every word under the sun at me infront DD called me a cnt, a poor excuse of a wife an embarrassment etc. all because of my behaviour at the
Event. I just wanted some help!
These are all so trivial but they add up. I've been so honest with him about things and he does try change but I think I'm past it. I'm so resentful of him? I can't stand to have sex with him, he makes my skin crawl. I've told him I find sex difficult as I have so much anger towards him. He kinda took it on the chin. We've not had sex for months.
I just feel like I have an extra child to look after. My DD is very hard work and I have little support. I miss my family dearly who are 3 hours away.
I feel we would be better off just DD and I sometimes.
On paper I have everything. A nice car a nice home and no money worries. I work ten hours a week and look after our daughter full time, I don't go out.ever. He has a night out every week. My outlet is my gym time.
This post is very disjointed and probably makes not a lot of sense as its the first time I've put "pen to paper" and there is so much to say. Again none of us have cheated or anything bad it's just so many things built up. That I feel I no longer am in love. He's like a brother. Oh I should add he likes to tell me what I can and can't do (dying hair, make up, that kind of thing).
I will add he is very hard working but just damn lazy in every other aspect.
Thank you if you got to the end of this!
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Advice/opinions on my marriage situation please?
Hanginginthebalance · 30/09/2016 15:29
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.