Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Why am I second guessing cutting off this man

(11 Posts)
cherylMole Fri 30-Sep-16 00:49:17

Hi all,
I posted a thread (which I couldn't find to update) regarding a new man in my life. I suspect he had a girlfriend due to several things on his whatsapp such as his status was "people change" now his status is hidden after I mentioned it, he had a photo of him and a females legs in the same shoes once as a photo.

some of you agreed he probably has someone else and some said no.

However today he had messaged me and asked to see me, I told him I wasnt feeling well and he said he will come look after me. I said no and he did not reply to me.

After this I tried to phone him, I have no idea why but his phone kept going voicemail even when he was listed as online via whatsapp.

I suspect I only have access to his whatsapp number and not his real number, he also only ever calls me via whatsapp.

I then messaged him "its best you focus on your relationship and not bother to contact me again"

he then phoned me several times (whatsapp calls) and asked me what I was talking about and if it is because he did not reply to me.
I just kept saying I know you are in a relationship and you wont convince me otherwise.

However now I am sitting here second guessing things, I was right about him wasnt I?

whitershadeofpale Fri 30-Sep-16 00:54:42

I think you're right to cut it off as it seems like lots of drama, but if you're the same poster I'm thinking of then I think you're wrong about him having a girlfriend. I just think he'd not long been out of one when you met.

He could have been on another whatsapp call at the time, hence the voicemail.

pinkyredrose Fri 30-Sep-16 00:56:52

Blimey you sound slightly hard work!

HandyWoman Fri 30-Sep-16 07:10:22

Gosh. You're probably second guessing this decision for the reason that you've been convinced of this other relationship on the basis of very flimsy evidence. I remember your other thread. You sent him a very passive aggressive message at the end there.

But anyway - too much drama. It obviously wasn't working for you. So just leave it there.

Whatsapp seems to cause no end of paranoia. If you're even slightly insecure then it's the work of the devil. All that checking if they're online or read your message. People are allowed to have other things in their life, they don't always phone or message immediately. They might, y'know, eat a meal or make a cup of tea or speak to someone else. But perhaps you were picking up on a bad vibe with him. Walk away, don't look back.

Delete the app and maybe you'll have better luck with your next chap. It's perfectly feasible to have a relationship with the use of good ole phone and text.

TheNaze73 Fri 30-Sep-16 07:51:56

You sound exhausting!!

Nothing should be that much trouble, personally I'm not seeing what he's doing wrong here but, end it if it's causing you that much grief

QuiteLikely5 Fri 30-Sep-16 07:55:46

I think you are right to be suspicious. His actions are dubious at best and in all seriousness set your standards a little higher

Littleballerina Fri 30-Sep-16 08:01:54

Have you actually tried to have a conversation about this the old fashioned way... face to face?
sounds like your relationship is based on an app.

cherylMole Fri 30-Sep-16 12:28:59

I did say it to his face and he denied it but it is just a vibe I am getting, I even phoned him on private at 3am and it went voicemail I am 100% convinced I only have his whatsapp number and not his real number, this is what kicked me off.
You probably can say I am paranoid but my friend recently was dating a guy who had a pregnant girlfriend and I just don't want to be caught up in all that. It is drama I think I did do the right thing, thanks for advice everyone.

adora1 Fri 30-Sep-16 16:00:43

C'mon, you can only contact him by Whatsapp so yes I think you are probably right about him.

JellyBean31 Fri 30-Sep-16 16:12:15

how do you get a WhatsApp number different to your "real" number?? not that I want one it's just everyone I have on WhatsApp has the same number as when I call them I thought it was automatic.

It's easy to be paranoid when you can see he's online and doesn't read or reply to your messages, but remember, you probably do that too with lots of other people. I know I do and it's not cos there's something going on, just like pp have said, because I'm chatting to my friends or I glance at a message and think I'll reply when I have more time later.

If you feel insecure though, end it now or you'll destroy it eventually anyway.

HappyJanuary Fri 30-Sep-16 19:15:06

You phoned him at 3am and were surprised it went straight to voicemail? Blimey.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now