No idea whats right or wrong

[ilovesun]

Been watching posts for weeks now and have courage tonight to post. But no idea where to start. I was a bright young person with good prospects and I have focussed all my energy on one person past 10 years who turns out is controlling abusive mentally and physically but I kept excusing and accepting it thinking one day it would magically change. My stbxp doesn't acknoledge anything I have dealt with is a complete hypocrite and cannot see things from a realistic point of view. Our Dd almost died last use age 2 from something awful that I suspected was wrong with her for 6 months and he used to call me idiot stupid with no parental experience as he has previous dc. How do I get to the mental frame of mind to end it and put dd (only 2) first and stop worrying about him having no place to stay, no fixed income, no family that will support him???? I know Dd comes first and the whole story of my life 10 years since i met him looking back is horrific but I still carry guilt for ending it now. So much more I could say but I don't even know where to start to feel ok with leaving him (in context he's such a bully he thinks he's left me but isn't really wanting to leave ) so he basically puts our happiness and life on hold until I achieve impossible requests. Anyone got any advice how to start to move on and not feel responsible for someone who hurts me every day and now says my cold ways have ended us ..

[jeaux90]

Firstly big hug, secondly leaving is the right thing, it sounds like he put your DD at risk in the past and is so absorbed with being right he would do the same again. My ex is my ex for very similar reasons (abusive narc) when my daughter was 1 I made the decision to leave for he and for me. So do it for her but also do it for you. You deserve to be happy and you only have one life. Maybe you leaving him will give him the boot up the arse he needs to therapy who know but this is not your responsibility, your DD is though. Be strong and make it happen. I guarantee you will be so much happier! Good luck xxx

[RunRabbitRunRabbit]

You would probably benefit from face to face help at the Freedom Programme. Have you looked up your local classes?