Not sure how to get dh to buck up his ideas.
Currently he's unemployed and has been for almost a year now (odd jobs here and there). The initial job loss was not his fault and I feel awful for what he has been through but things are horribly tough. I was uber supportive at the start but it's been so long with very little change in the situation.
I have ended up taking a job that has a reduction in salary as I have planned a career change (thankfully my parents have offered support to us so I can do it) but in a few years it will be worth it. It's not an ideal time but I can't put my career on hold until he gets himself sorted.
He however is still struggling to find something. I don’t think he has spent the past few months trying hard enough and have now laid down the law (yes I should have done this sooner but it’s hard when dh is low and I worry that what I say could push him further into depression) I shouldn’t have to push this hard though. Young DD to support, a mortgage, bills to pay.
To top it off he pays in his jobseekers allowance into the joint account but I found out he had bought himself some games for over £25 this week (even after I showed my annoyance at him paying a few £s for some coffee from Costa last week)
I don’t understand what he’s playing at. He claimed that it was his money so he thought it was ok, but considering my wage currently pays for everything (including his phone bill) I am confused about what is going through his mind.
I have obviously now spoken to him and he has said he regrets it and understands he was stupid, but I don’t know how to get him to sort himself out without pushing him over the edge. I feel a bit like a mug at the moment as everyone else says they would have kicked him out by now but I’m not good at being mean (the guilt is always too much)
Any suggestions of how to empower him to do it himself, how to inspire him etc. It’s a tricky line to walk right now and I don’t want my marriage to fall apart.
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How to get dh motivated
12 replies
Southernfairy85 · 26/09/2016 15:10
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