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Worst Online Dating First Message.

(59 Posts)
TiggyD Sun 25-Sep-16 01:12:15

I win!

"Can we do a car meet tnyt il sort u out some money"

What's the worst first message you've had from somebody?

PotOfYoghurt Sun 25-Sep-16 01:18:41

A picture of his penis.

TiggyD Sun 25-Sep-16 01:20:11

The classic opener. Wonder if it ever works?

stitchglitched Sun 25-Sep-16 01:22:01

Sex?

That was it. Think I was supposed to say ooh yes please!

chattygranny Sun 25-Sep-16 01:24:55

My (adult) DD was asked "what time do your legs open".

PotOfYoghurt Sun 25-Sep-16 01:26:53

Stitch I've had that. He messaged 'sex tonight? ;)' and I replied 'female. Same as the previous nights.'

Notapodling Sun 25-Sep-16 07:55:29

Gosh, I've had a lot. First that comes to mind was probably during the hear wave a couple of weeks back.
'Heya babe, how're you doing in the heat. I got some really sweaty bollocks today. Grin emoticon'
He sounded fantastic. hmm Wonder why I didn't reply.

Notapodling Sun 25-Sep-16 07:58:27

Also: 'Before I agree to meet you, you need to answer the following questions' and there was a whole list. I don't remember what they all were but number one was 'how big are your feet?'

lovelybangers Sun 25-Sep-16 08:02:18

I don't remember the wording but my firdt ever contact on online dating asked me to attend a swingers party with him, as it was couples only.

I was quite surprised as hadn't done online dating before...

PanGalaticGargleBlaster Sun 25-Sep-16 08:40:45

'Hi'

TokenGinger Sun 25-Sep-16 09:59:24

"This may be a little forward, but I like to tell a woman exactly what I like. I love squirters. I love to make women squirt. I like it all over my face. I love to meet women who have never squirted before and make it happen for them.

If you'd like to let me explore you and be the first to make you squirt, message me.

If you have no interest in learning how to squirt, I'd rather you didn't reply because it just won't work between us.

KingSquirter"

candybar007 Sun 25-Sep-16 10:03:32

Shamelessly place marking.

friendshipstruggle Sun 25-Sep-16 10:05:33

Are you free tonight? I'd love to stick it up your back passage.

Shameandregret Sun 25-Sep-16 10:06:42

'Spermy Lick?'

I messaged him back questioning his methods and how many people responded to that opener, he replied saying 'One. It's always worth a shot!'

I think I was the one responder grin

abbsismyhero Sun 25-Sep-16 10:24:50

Nice photoshop job on your photos was one (I hadn't photo shopped it) he insisted I had went nuts at me to the point where I reported him

Another one was hi slag does your husband know what your doing I can't stand sluts who whore about on there husbands bizarrely I felt compelled to defend myself and state we are separated we have been apart for over a year his comeback was okay do you fancy coming for a drink? hmm

TiggyD Sun 25-Sep-16 10:30:49

Pan , What's up with "hi"? It's a bit on the short side, but it doesn't have that 'serial killer' vibe that so many initial messages have.

ClopySow Sun 25-Sep-16 10:32:49

One guy told me he was a delivery driver in my area and said if i ever needed tena lady, he was my man.

Another: "nice face, great tits. How big is the arse"

My response "i dunno, what height are you"

He responded "5ft9"

Then "is that too short?" after i didn't get back to him.

PanGalaticGargleBlaster Sun 25-Sep-16 11:00:22

Tiggy

'Hi' is not exactly nasty or threatening, but just phenomenally lazy. When I tried OLD I was surprised by the number of women who felt that an email that said only 'hi' was an attractive opening gambit.

The only spooky moment I had with OLD was when I exchanged a few messages with a women and we agreed to have a chat on the phone. The call started off ok but she then went off at the deep end when she was telling me how she felt we were a good match and could not wait to meet me and talked about all the fun things we can do as a couple. She started to sound a bit breathless and distracted where I asked her what she was doing where at which point she told me she was lying on her bed in her undies rubbing her clit.

Trills Sun 25-Sep-16 11:05:26

Pan I was hoping that you were making the point that as a man the worst you have had as an opening gambit is a boring and lazy and unoriginal "hi", rather than anything disgusting or unpleasant or insulting or abusive.

I get lots of "hi" too. I ignore them.

oneburgerofham Sun 25-Sep-16 11:23:01

'Your legs are like an Oreo cookie, I want to split them and lick the good stuff inside.'

Needless to say I didn't reply!

PanGalaticGargleBlaster Sun 25-Sep-16 11:36:56

Trills

I have had abuse from online dating, just not as an opening message. I have been called all sorts of nasty things for having the audacity to politely decline to go on a second or third date.

SkyRabbit Sun 25-Sep-16 11:59:09

Just had one : "looking for a nice lady who looks young" ffs.

StartingOver1 Sun 25-Sep-16 12:05:31

I had one just asking "are you submisive " on a mainline dating site, which I thought was shocking at the time, but is quite tame compared to some of these smile

chocdonutyy Sun 25-Sep-16 12:08:43

I've had a few,
One guy insisted I was married, nothing I could say would persuade him otherwise.

I get guys asking if it's OK they are from another country, after a visa perhaps?

Hi, do you have an iPhone? X. Weird!

And then there's guys who copy and paste their responses and ones who delete their profile if you don't respond immediately.

I wonder if ladies are just as odd on there as the men seem to be!

Trills Sun 25-Sep-16 14:16:38

That's a shame Pan - it does show that you were right to decline to go on a second date with that person though. smile

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