I've had to nc as no doubt this will out me.
I know that my real issue is DH and not FIL but I don't know how to change it. DH is just so conditioned to his DF and his attitude and the fact that whatever he says goes and can't be challenged. They all tipped around him.
To be honest I've also done it for over 10 years although I've always complained to DH that how his DF treats him and his siblings and others isn't right. I've kept it in whenever he's made litter remarks or comments to me for the sake of DH. Fil will not tolerate being challenged and he goes radio active if he is.
It's no secret that he doesn't like any of the partners his children have chosen including me but his attitude to me has gotten worse since I had my DC 2 years ago. He lives over 100 miles away so we don't see him often but when we do I get little digs made or the last 3 times I've been shouted at. This time I couldn't take anymore after almost a week of digs I answered him back and all he'll broke lose.
He was imposing in my face, a trade of verbal abuse followed and I told him that I was taking DC and leaving. He tried to take DC from me and continued the abuse all the while DH just sat there saying nothing. So yes I know DH is the real problem.
He's made excuse after excuse for his DF behaviour, he's tried to justify it and put his head in the sand.
For me it's really shook what I believed of our relationship, I'd always felt if push came to shove he would stand with me and he didn't he let me get a verbal bashing.
The flying monkeys have been in contact asking DH to tow the line and right now I'm trying to figure out how to save my marriage as I can't see a way forward from this when DH knows Fil was wrong and admits it but can't/won't stand with me.
How do I snap him out of the FOG as current I'm being portrayed as the evil person wanting to go nc and wrecking their relationship as I know what fil is like and should put up with it
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I know I've got a DH problem but how do I change that?
Beebuzy · 24/09/2016 21:24
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