I fled an abusive marriage 2 years ago. we are now back in contact for the sake of the children (but always me that does the travelling, he's never been to where we live although he did use a private investigator to find out our address 6 months ago after I declined to tell him)
The house has been up for sale since I left and a buyer is finally about ready to exchange contracts although once the mortgage and arrears are paid there will only be a couple of thousand left.
Over the past few months he has repeatedly tried to tell me that I need to give him money for various expenses he has incurred over the past few years, I'm on income support, have nothing and drive a £500 banger. He knows this and told me to borrow from my father, he started by saying he wanted a minimum of 20k. I have never agreed to give him anything, told him there is no way my father would give him a bean. Several weeks ago after getting pretty fed up at him carrying on again I told him to put it in writing.
Middle of last week I got a letter from his solicitor, he is now after 40k and the net proceeds of sale. He claims I removed items with an estimated value of 20k. I took my personal jewellery and a couple of musical instruments, probable total value 4K. He still has all the house contents and the family car. His breakdown of what he estimates the expenses to be are mortgage, council tax, a personal loan in his name which was used to build a conservatory and 10k miscellaneous (described as electricity, gas, oil, buildings and contents insurance, garden maintenance and cleaning etc.) he is claiming I owe half of this as I have 'in a sense, not left the property at all.' I have returned some weekends so the children can see their father.
the solicitors letter finishes by talking about how he is only likely to be able to afford a one bed flat and finishes with this line. 'Consideration will therefore need to be given to future contact arrangements between our client and the children and we would welcome any proposals you may have in that regard.' He has already previously suggested that for the sake of the children I contribute to his rent so he can get a bigger place.
I had a phone call tonight insisting he needed an answer tonight. I've told him I can't say anything until I've spoken to a solicitor but he still said he will ring back later when the kids are in bed.
Help! What do I say?
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Relationships
Ex h wants money
Cornishmumoftwo · 20/09/2016 21:11
On the plus side - if it's a real solicitor that wrote that then he's employed the worst one around. 
BTW he is just bullying you and the starting point is 50:50 but usually the parent with care gets more.
As he was abusive you should be able to decline mediation and be eligible for legal aid.
Speak to Womens Aid they should be able to point you to a suitable solicitor etc.
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