Sorry this is a long one!!
Ok so last year when my lg was 8wks old I found out my husband had been on hookup sites, I was being silly and googled his nickname and it came up with a link to a dating site and his photo....I was not expecting that at all! I was raging, I confronted him and he denied all knowledge & claimed it's a dodgy site that had stolen his details from FB or somewhere. I didn't buy it but he did seem genuinely confused - cue me waiting for him to go to work everyday and hacking his emails, I just didn't believe he was telling the truth, he's never done anything like this before has always been an amazing husband and brilliant dad so I didn't want to believe it but had to be sure so got all psycho and hacked into everything I could - bad I know but I've been in this situation before with someone else and you just know when someone is lying.
I found he had profiles on other websites, they were all about 2 years old so well before we had a child together but we were married, he happened to be away with work - he's military so is away a lot and I know it really is work but I gathered all my evidence ready to throw at him when he got home, he admitted he had made the profiles he thought it would be fun but claims he has never even messaged anyone let alone met anyone and that did look true as he had a load of messages from random women on these sites but they were all unread by him, he could have marked them so but as he was never thinking he'd be caught I don't think it would occur to him to leave them there as unread.
This was all about a year ago now & I have been feeling uneasy about it all ever since I found out but I wanted to believe him, I wanted it to work & not just throw our marriage away, it's so easy to do now days to just go for that option. Anyway he's been glued to his phone a lot recently he's never been that sort of person so I actually said 'have you got naked women on that phone' he just laughed, of course.
Anyway cue the psycho in me again, he is so good at deleting his internet history, I can't snoop through his phone as I don't know the passcode, but found a couple of porn sites on his iPad where it seems you interact with girls on live webcams and tell them what you want them to do etc.
I can cope with porn so many men do it but what I can't work out is when he has time to do this - he doesn't have time at work, we go to bed at the same time and have a one year old to deal with first thing in the mornings. I also don't trust that he's not on hook up sites again, I told him last week I don't believe a word that comes out of his mouth but my mum has been visiting since and we've not had a chance to talk & he's just completely ignored my comment - if someone said that to me I'd want to address it & find out what that person was thinking or why they think that.
This morning he sent me a rudey photo and my first thought was 'was that meant for me?'
Am I just being a complete psycho?!
I don't know that he has physically cheated but going on hook up sites and porn etc. means he is unhappy within our relationship and I just don't know what to think - he says he's happy but he's clearly not. I don't want to be taken for a fool but I don't want to throw it all away either.
I don't live near anyone I can talk to and I feel embarrassed to talk to my friends on the phone about this, they all think he's amazing and I don't want to lower their opinions of him knowing I want our relationship to work so here I am, asking you lovely lot!
What would you do?
Thank you
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Relationships
Husband has been on hookup sites
sdanon · 20/09/2016 09:17
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