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So ashamed of myself

(129 Posts)
Theblamegame Mon 19-Sep-16 21:08:49

Name changed for this.

So I was dating a guy for around 6 months when we decided to call it a day. Nothing bad but we just didn't see it going anywhere.

We always had good chemistry and sex. So even though we broke it off we slept together a few times since.

I've been feeling in the mood so made contact and we exchanged a few dirty messages and hinted at meeting up. So I sent him a couple of nude selfies (have done this lots before, I know no face etc) and a suggestive message. This was on Friday and he hasn't replied. I followed up with another message yesterday evening and still no response!

I am feeling so embarrassed and ashamed at myself as he must think I am crazy. I feel like I've thrown myself at him.

How do I stop these feelings? I am so low this evening and can't stop thinking about what he must think about me.

EasternDailyStress Mon 19-Sep-16 21:17:34

He's probably very flattered, but it sounds as though there's someone else on the scene. I shouldn't worry too much about it if I were you.

Theblamegame Mon 19-Sep-16 21:24:57

A couple of my friends have said that he probably thinks I'm easy and I hate the thought of him believing that...

usernamewastooobv Mon 19-Sep-16 21:25:04

Possibly he has been out all weekend or even has a new partner. No need to feel ashamed - you have previously met for sex and exchanged texts so it's not as it was all you! Maybe he just doesn't know how to turn you down politely so thought it would be easier to ignore! If it would make you feel better then send a text to say no hard feelings and take care X

Theblamegame Mon 19-Sep-16 21:31:18

He's pretty bad at replies (always busy, often not in the country) but this is quite a length of time even for him.

I text last week and told him if it was no longer appropriate to meet for sex then not to reply to me but he did and said he would like to meet up... However as I've now sent two messages and two pictures I'm too ashamed to text again!

I guess the embarrassment will probably fade.

Would a guy think of a girl as easy if he had dated her for quite some time, she was exclusive to him and we both agreed that we have a fairly open attitude when it comes to sex?

usernamewastooobv Mon 19-Sep-16 21:39:55

I couldn't answer for another person but I wouldn't think you were easy if you had already been in a relationship with this guy - it's not like you are acting like this on just meeting him.

NotTheFordType Mon 19-Sep-16 21:40:52

Why are you worried about being perceived as "easy"?

Only some stuck in the 70s dipshit is going to think of you like that, and who gives a monkeys what they think?

You texted him, he hasn't replied. Just leave it like that now until he either replies, or doesn't. In the meantime, seek out other rewarding liaisons.

TheVirginQueen Mon 19-Sep-16 21:42:21

I'd have to block him to prevent you from ever replying to another message he may finally send.

AyeAmarok Mon 19-Sep-16 21:42:58

You're not "easy". You were two adults who enjoyed sex with each other so were doing something you both enjoyed.

Easy is a horrible term with very sexist connotations.

goldielookingchain Mon 19-Sep-16 21:43:32

Why are you so concerned about what he thinks because of 2 messages??? You dated him for 6 months ffs, he knows you well. Just no more messages, he's moved on. I'm sure he'll look back on your time with a smile but don't ruin it by getting all pathetic

AyeAmarok Mon 19-Sep-16 21:44:55

Oh and he's probably just met someone else, and that's why it's not appropriate to reply (but it would be nice if he told you).

Or HJNTIY anymore, for whatever reason. Don't lose any sleep over it.

memyselfandaye Mon 19-Sep-16 21:47:10

I hope your face was'nt in the shot.

AyeAmarok Mon 19-Sep-16 21:49:03

What are you supposed to do to make you not "easy", given you've been sleeping together for 6 months?

Make him work for sex so he "earns" the right to it? confused

Theblamegame Mon 19-Sep-16 21:52:28

No my face was not in any shot. He has quite a library of images of me so it's a bit late to be worried about that. I don't put my face in any shot and they are not rude - I work out a lot and he has always been very appreciative of my body. This would be nothing new to him.

I guess it might look like I'm continuing to throw myself at him even after we're not together so I might look desperate.

Theblamegame Mon 19-Sep-16 21:54:51

Oh and I trust him not to share the images; not that it matters.

AnyFucker Mon 19-Sep-16 21:57:15

You've been dating a guy for 6 months and you trust him with your naked images ?

Oh dear.

Theblamegame Mon 19-Sep-16 22:00:41

Can this not turn into a debate about sending naked images?

That's not my issue here.

Overthinker2016 Mon 19-Sep-16 22:02:41

No need to be so patronising AnyFucker. Her choice etc.

TheNaze73 Mon 19-Sep-16 22:05:36

I think you need to block him. He's clearly moved on.

Myusernameismyusername Mon 19-Sep-16 22:09:35

I would block just to avoid him picking up and putting you down when he chooses

I've done it. Not really rude ones but flirty and then felt crappy. I think just a lesson to know your audience that's all, he's kind of evasive sounding but it's not something you should feel bad about

pallasathena Mon 19-Sep-16 22:11:14

She's not being patronising, she's being honest.

AnyFucker Mon 19-Sep-16 22:13:29

Yes, it's anyone's choice to send naked pics to someone they barely know

It's still a mistake though. Now op is getting ghosted (through no fault of her own). I don't suppose you expected that either sad.

Scarftown Mon 19-Sep-16 22:19:45

I don't think he would think you are easy. And if your friends do they aren't great friends.

You had a relationship even if just sexual for 6 'onths. You are allowed to have sex and enjoy it.

I was in a similar situation. It's easier said than done but just move on. No one has done nothing wrong here. Jist jokd your head high. Keep the good memories. And on to the next. If anyone or him comments then kick them to the curb.

Theblamegame Mon 19-Sep-16 22:22:10

Someone I barely know? Really?

There's nothing identifying in them and we have no mutual friends so I don't see the problem.

Lesson learnt with regards to messaging him. I guess I have overstayed my welcome.

If he has moved on then I expect he has deleted them all.

Myusernameismyusername Mon 19-Sep-16 22:28:37

I think I meant just maybe in future for your own sanity re-establish something more solid in communication before just adding to his wank bank - because after all,he was encouraging you and leading you on, that he wanted to start up again!

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