Partner and I have had some major issues in relationship recently, some revelations around his use of porn which he had concealed from me since the start of our relationship but which he (of his own volition) has now stopped. We agreed to pause the physical side of our relationship for a while (at first when in shock I wasn't sure if I wanted our relationship to continue at all, but I then felt I did) whilst he got his head together etc.
So to this weekend. I thought it would be a chance for us to spend sometime together and start to reconnect physically (not rampant shagging, but kissing / touching etc). So this is brought up and he doesn't feel ready, he's still pretty ashamed of the secret porn use. Ok, that's fair enough.
For context, over recent months (predating all this stuff) I've put on weight, going from being a bit overweight to quite a lot overweight. Obviously this recent situation with the porn hasn't helped - I am a classic comfort eater so have been eating more as my means of coping/ making myself feel better.
So, onto last night, we were going out for dinner. I had left my fake tan at home, and my tights, meaning I couldn't wear the only 'dressy'outfit I'd brought, and had to wear something else I didn't feel confident in and made me look fat (or rather fatter).
So I wasn't feeling great about myself, it helped by him coming in to hurry me along, and making no comment about how I looked. Not even a cursory you look nice.
So I finished, went out to him and said I was ready but that I thought I looked awful. His response was to say I didn't look awful (but no more). Which upset me.
He asked why I was upset, I explained I needed some validation. He said I wouldn't have believed him, he'd be in the wrong no matter what he said.
We didn't go out in the end, he said that my attitude that evening was awful and he wouldn't go anywhere with me like that.
I was so angry over this - telling me I have a bad attitude, like I'm a child? I went to bed, because I couldn't bear to be around him, and if I spoke to him I wouldn't have been able to keep my temper.
So now it's the next morning. I'm up, he's still asleep. I'm not sure how to clear the air - don't feel I have anything to apologise for, and tbh I'm still more than a bit angry about what he said.
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Relationships
Went away for a rebuilding weekend, now not speaking...
rumandcokewithice · 19/09/2016 08:06
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