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He hit me last night.. I don't know what to do!!

(81 Posts)
ReachingOut27 Sun 18-Sep-16 13:12:56

Last night he came home pretty drunk..
We argue alot and he can be verbally abusive but he's never hurt me.
I'm 33 weeks pregnant and I have 3 children from a previous relationship but they were at their dads thankfully.
I had an arguing with him about how I'm always alone because I'm supposed to be resting and he's always out.

He came in and came I upstairs.. Took his belt off and threw it at me.
He then took my phone from my hands and accused me of cheating.

He told me to delete all our mutual friends from Facebook or he would.
I tried to get my phone back and then he smacked me across the face.
Out of shock I smacked him back it was the wrong thing to do I know but i automatically went to defend myself.

The all clear of a sudden he punched in the cheek and cracked my head against the wall. Some how I ended up with the phone but it had died so I couldn't contact anyone.
I ran to the bathroom and tried to shut the door. He came in hurling abuse agian backing me into the shower where it came on and i ended up soaked.
He called me things like "fat slag"
Told he was going to look up one of his exs that puts me to shame and for a full hour followed me round making threats about how he would have the baby taken away from me ect. I was horrified and I'm still shaking not believing what's actually happened.
I'm terrified to tell anyone.
I'm terrified of being alone.
I don't know what to do.

I slept in my childrens room last night when he eventually went to sleep and when I woke up this morning he said.
I can't believe you smacked me last night look at the scratch on my face.

My face is currently swollen and sore to touch.
When I tried telling him what he'd done his answer was we are both as bad as each other.
Told me I pushed the argument by just not letting him have his "me time"
In this whole pregnancy I've been left at home alone because I've been ill and we've done nothing together.

He goes out every weekend.

He then got ready went out and has gone to play football like nothing has happened.

He has told me I'd have to have him physically removed for him to leave.
Im scared of doing that.
He tells me that it's unfair if I make him go and miss out on his unborn child.
I don't know what to do
Is this my fault?
Did I start this.
How do I find strength when I'm already ill and weak.

MrsHathaway Sun 18-Sep-16 13:14:03

Police police police.

Good luck.

AverageGayLadAtChristmas Sun 18-Sep-16 13:15:18

Call the police right now. He violently assaulted a pregnant woman, of course that isn't on.

Funko Sun 18-Sep-16 13:15:26

Police. Now.

Your retaliated fine, understandable. You won't be arrested. Have him arrested and removed from the house.
Don't be scared to tell anyone, it will get worse if you let it lie! flowers

gemmawinegum Sun 18-Sep-16 13:16:59

Get you and the kids out of there. Can you perhaps go to your parents? What sort of man hits a pregnant woman!! angry

notgivingin789 Sun 18-Sep-16 13:17:15

Call the police!

Get him kicked out of the house and get an induction!

Don't make the mistake that he has learned the errors of his ways and willing to change. No no no. Leave him OP. He will do it again.

Afreshstartplease Sun 18-Sep-16 13:17:46

Call the police. He is a danger to you and your DC. Do you have family or friends who can come and be with you. When are your DC back from their dads?

Do not protect him by keeping this quiet.

Why are his actions your fault?. It is not your fault this happened to you. This is all his doing. You are now seeing the real him. You and he need to be apart before he does you any more physical harm because he will hit you again at some point. He has already verbally abused you, this is simply a further escalation of his own inherent nastiness and abusive behaviour towards you. Your children do not need this man in their lives either.

You need to report him to the Police, he has assaulted you here.

Speaking to Womens Aid on 0808 2000 247 will also benefit you.

RiceCrispieTreats Sun 18-Sep-16 13:19:17

Police.

And also 0808 2000 247 (national domestic violence helpline) for a sympathetic ear and practical advice (eg. on the law, benefits, refuges, local support groups, family law solictors in your area, and whatever else you may need)

MephistoMarley Sun 18-Sep-16 13:19:19

Police now.
You cannot live with a violent abuser and keep your children safe. You just can't. He needs to be gone from your life and your children's lives. Sadly he will have to have contact with the baby but if you get the assault documented by the police and children's services you will be able to withhold contact and get legal aid if he takes you to court, which should ensure that contact is supervised and safe.

Honestly - if you don't do the above then you are all fucked. He will do it again, he could hurt or kill your baby if he gets into a drunken rage with him/her in the room. He could kill you. Your kids will tell someone and they could end up in care.
I get that you're probably in shock but this is crunch time. Act.

category12 Sun 18-Sep-16 13:19:42

Your best bet is to call the police and get an order in place so he can't come back to the house.
Don't be put off by the fact you hit him back - he conveniently brought that bit up to scare you into not reporting and to minimise his attack on you.

He'll do it again. Abuse often gets worse or starts in pregnancy.

Protect yourself (and your dc) now.

Fedupd0tcom Sun 18-Sep-16 13:20:34

Please call the police and get out of there. After what he did he does not deserve to be a father. Call the police....go somewhere safe while he's out. Even if it's a friends home...parents...he could have harmed your unborn baby last night....he sounds controlling. Run away now and call the police...if not to protect yourself then to protect your baby.

RiceCrispieTreats Sun 18-Sep-16 13:20:57

And also: I know how heart-wrenching and confusing this must feel at the moment.

You are not alone. And you can get out of this and live a happier and stabler life for you and your DC.

Duckafuck Sun 18-Sep-16 13:21:30

call the police now. You know deep down you did not deserve this. How can you even suggest that you shouldn't have slapped him back ffs!? He's willing to punch and slap you while pregnant! Call them now and get him out of the house before he does worse, if you had fallen from that punch or slap you could have lost your baby. Please don't put up with this.

ImperialBlether Sun 18-Sep-16 13:21:37

You need to go to the hospital as well and to call the police, too. If he's saying he'll need to be dragged away, let him.

What a prize you have there, OP. I would get rid and never let him in the house again.

NoFuchsGiven Sun 18-Sep-16 13:21:57

Please call the police op, not just for you but for your children also.

Do you have family/friends close by?

Fedupd0tcom Sun 18-Sep-16 13:22:08

This happened to a dear friend of mine. Abuse started in pregnancy and continued long after...until she ran away with her lo. Now they are both in therapy...but safe. Get out now before he can harm your dc xx

rainbowstardrops Sun 18-Sep-16 13:24:21

I'd call the police. NOW. If he's capable of hitting a heavily pregnant woman then he's capable of anything.
I'm usually all for trying to work things out and holding on but I wouldn't in this case.
Get the police out. They'll hopefully help you get him out. He can have all the childish 'me' time he likes then angry

GinAndSonic Sun 18-Sep-16 13:24:49

He's put playing football right now? Call the police while he's out.

ReachingOut27 Sun 18-Sep-16 13:26:06

Deep down I know what I need to do and I'm trying to find the strength.
My children aren't back until tomorrow night after school.
I'm scared the police won't believe me HR has a way of twisting things and I know he's in my head but I'm struggling to find strength.
The life I thought I was going to have has gone somewhere and I don't know how I'm struggling with that reality.

I'm going to have to admit to people what kind of man he is and I can't understand why that's hard.
He isn't here right now and he won't be back while alot later
I'm trying to prepare myself for life after
Does that make any sense

melibu84 Sun 18-Sep-16 13:26:26

Please go to the police, and to the hospital so that your injuries can be recorded. Leave him, you should not stay with him, especially for the sake of your unborn baby!

YNK Sun 18-Sep-16 13:28:33

He has left you no choice, op.
If SS find that you are living with DV the responsibility is yours to ensure the children are safe.
Call the police to make sure you and your DC stay safe, and you demonstrate being a responsible parent.
There is nothing else you can do!
So sorry you are going through this.

Cary2012 Sun 18-Sep-16 13:30:04

Echo the others, please phone the police. To hit a woman is unforgivable, to hit a pregnant woman is indefensible.

Do you have friends and family who can be there with you?

ImperialBlether Sun 18-Sep-16 13:31:56

I would love the police to arrest him while he's with his mates, playing football. He really needs everyone to know what he's like.

GinAndSonic Sun 18-Sep-16 13:32:57

He can't twist it, your face is swollen and sore. Call them now while the evidence is there to see. He will only get worse and your children will be harmed by it.

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