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I don't think he loves me anymore....what do I do?

(3 Posts)
Fedupd0tcom Sun 18-Sep-16 13:09:53

I don't think my dh loves me anymore.

He says 'I love you' but never shows it. His email said he'd been on match.com. he denies it says it's spam...I'm not so sure.

I've been miserable recently as a close friend is blanking me, my dm is v ill, my dd passed away last year, my dh has to reapply for his job and I may have to leave mine due to awful things going on at my workplace and it becoming intolerable there. Dh says I have to stay at my work...even though being there has made me so down. I'm trying to but there's only so much I can take. I try to apply for new jobs and he gets mad at me....I tell him he should apply for another job as his current work are making his future there uncertain....he gets angry at me. Doesn't want to apply for anything.

He's often out late....usually due to work but it does get lonely. On the rare event we do go out just us 2....we either say v little to eachother or we argue. He never plans these dates....I can't remember the last time he planned something nice for us to do together or bought me flowers. I try to plan nice things...but I've now stopped as he didn't seem to notice my efforts when I had.

He doesn't care about his appearance anymore and hardly ever notices when I make an effort with mine. All I ever hear from him is how I shouldn't eat xyz as I'm on a diet and need to lose weight. So my confidence is at an all time low. Needless to say our physical relationship is non existent. Not helped by me having health problems that may mean we can't have the sibling for our lo we crave. Which is heartbreaking to even think of. Trying to get it treated. He hasnt shown much concern, even though I'm often in a lot of pain (being a woman with pcos....well....I hate it sad)

He keeps saying to me....'why are you always so down?' I try to tell him why. He is preoccupied with chores, his phone, housework. He is also ill with a neurological illness..and so tired. I try to look after him. But we often rarely speak in depth about emotions. When we do his defences go up.

I'll then disappear upstairs to be alone....does he come to check on me...after 2 hours....

I'm expected to drive him everywhere at the expense of resting if I need to or doing work from home that I need to do at work and caring for my dm and lo. When I put my foot down he goes into a strop.

I love him. I desperately want us to be happy again. I don't think he loves me anymore. I'm not happy enough. I'm not the size 10 like his 2 sil. I'm a tired mummy and the whole time we've been married I've had to be a carer to sick parents.

I feel so unloved. So unwanted.


He won't go for relationship counselling with me.

HappyJanuary Sun 18-Sep-16 13:41:33

Show him this, put it in a letter or email and show him. His response will tell you what to do next. The sadness radiates off the page. If there's anything salvageable it will prompt a discussion about how you can rebuild your relationship.

ImperialBlether Sun 18-Sep-16 13:44:35

I am so sorry you lost your daughter. That alone must mean you feel terrible. Was he her father? Could his behaviour be due to her passing? If not, I don't think there's a lot to fight for here - you say you love him, but I can't see why you would - do you just love the memory of how he was?

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