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I think my husband is cheating on me...

(34 Posts)
user1474139565 Sat 17-Sep-16 20:27:11

Okay so today I found a used condom in my husband's car and I don't know what to do.
He said he was going out last night for a work meeting but he wasn't home until around 2am. I asked him how the meeting went and he seemed a bit off.
We've had a happy marriage for 23 years and I dread to think my husband is actually cheating on me.
PLEASE HELP!!! What should i do? I don't want to confront him because I do genuinely love him TIA

Trifleorbust Sat 17-Sep-16 20:33:01

Doesn't sound good, OP, am really sorry flowers

Forgettheworld Sat 17-Sep-16 20:35:05

It doesn't sound good. You don't want to confront him?? Well I guess you'll never know. Are you just going to forget you saw anything?

loveyoutothemoon Sat 17-Sep-16 20:36:00

I'm so sorry.

There can't be any excuse for a used condom in the car. Sorry you need to confront him.

pinkieandperkie Sat 17-Sep-16 20:37:48

I'm so sorry but it doesn't sound good. You need to speak to him.

pinkieandperkie Sat 17-Sep-16 20:37:52

I'm so sorry but it doesn't sound good. You need to speak to him.

Trifleorbust Sat 17-Sep-16 20:38:35

If you don't intend to confront him, are you just going to let it go? I really don't want to upset you any further by suggesting the obvious, but I would go to the clinic if I were you and definitely don't sleep with him yourself.

Ellarose85 Sat 17-Sep-16 20:39:32

Where do you plan on going from here if you don't want to confront?

flowers I'm sorry that you are in this position

GinBunny Sat 17-Sep-16 20:57:23

So sorry OP. But if you do confront he will probably deny. Can you take a photo as proof?

Luvjubs Sat 17-Sep-16 20:57:38

Ya 'think' he's cheating on you? confused

Yes. He is. Don't believe any of the shit excuses he'll come out. He's shagging around.

bloodymaria Sat 17-Sep-16 20:59:45

What are you looking for from this thread op? If you're not willing to confront him then I don't think you can move forward.

Laineymc7 Sat 17-Sep-16 21:07:39

You know the answer to this one yourself. Sorry. Hope you are ok.

debbs77 Sat 17-Sep-16 21:18:44

Just offering a hug. Not sure a condom in a car can even suggest a posh wank in this case x

RealityCheque Sat 17-Sep-16 21:19:03

He's probably just had a posh wank. After his meeting.

hmm

RealityCheque Sat 17-Sep-16 21:19:33

Damn. Beaten to it by debbs

Sameoldiggi Sat 17-Sep-16 21:23:16

Confronting not the only option surely. People on here are often advised to take time to get their ducks in a row etc before deciding what to do. Or to look for more evidence before confronting. ("I must have brought it in on my shoe! I leant the car to Dave and his new bird for ten minutes! Etc)

Buzzardbird Sat 17-Sep-16 21:24:24

In what circumstances were you in his car to find the condom?

Do you think he wouldn't expect you to find it?

I really don't think anyone would not confront someone "because they love him" when they found a used condom.

ivykaty44 Sat 17-Sep-16 21:25:07

OK op so you don't want to confront him, that fine

What do you think you should do or how do you think would be best to react to this?

Are you thinking that if you ignore it then the problem will go away? The sometimes it will but often it will come back again with a different face.

How do you think this will effect your health?

loobyloo1234 Sat 17-Sep-16 21:26:11

I don't want to confront him because I do genuinely love him

confused Well what are you going to do then OP? Of course you should confront him? What a fuckwit he is

Chocolate123 Sat 17-Sep-16 21:26:48

If you don't confront him your option is do nothing and ignore. Can you do that I couldn't? Don't see how there could be any other explanation.

EasternDailyStress Sat 17-Sep-16 21:31:05

To be honest, he's either very stupid or he wants to be caught. No one leaves a used condom in their car, especially if they're having a secret affair! You must confront him because otherwise you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of putting up with his behaviour.

Sorry OP, it must be horrible for you flowers

Lemonlady22 Sat 17-Sep-16 22:24:17

im sorry but if this was me he would be straight out of the door with no excuses....after id poked him in the eye with a stick with the used condom on the end of it!...pfft!

DiegeticMuch Sat 17-Sep-16 22:38:38

Unless you have an adult child at home who's borrowed that car recently, its his condom.

See a solicitor to ascertain your rights before you say anything.

BarbaraRoberts Sat 17-Sep-16 22:47:15

I'm sorry but it does look like he's having an affair

It's awful. I've been there.

There are lots of blunt comments on this thread. Please take your time to process this in your own time.

Rachelbrew Sun 18-Sep-16 16:00:04

I just found out my husband is also having an affair today. Keep asking him questions and he will finally admit it. Ask him otherwise all you'll do is think about it all day and drive your self crazy.

I can't advise you what to do moving forwards as I don't know what I'm going to do myself yet, but make sure you have time to yourself to think this through.

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