it has damaged me so bad I cant ever see me being happy, my mum was cold and unloving, my dad was part time but hardly see him, wasn't close to my siblings and my nan hated me for some reason. as for the rest of them they have never been interest or made an effort.
ive always longed for that loving family feel (I need it) some one to talk to, to hug, to laugh with. I feel like there's a big hole in my heart.
I had my own children young but found it hard to bond, express love and feelings towards them. im too cold like my mother. its such a horrible guilty feeling, being through it how can I then treat mine with same parenting. It would've been better if I didn't have them.
its not just family, I cant make friends. there is nothing to me other than despair and depression. I have no interest no hobbies, a conversation don't go far with me unless im crying over how alone and hurt I feel. only so many times my 2 only friends can hear it!
I cant see my life picking up, I cant magic a new family - I know people say don't dwell on the past but its always there.
my 2 eldest will be going to live with their dad some point soon, which will leave me and my dd.
I fight with myself everyday thoughts of how alone I feel then contradict with how uncomfortable I am around people and hide away.
don't even know how writing this is going to help me, but I read if you write things down it helps?
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i cant get over being alone growing up
17 replies
happyfrown · 17/09/2016 18:37
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