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When you have one day off with your DP a week and they're grumpy...

(10 Posts)
bumbleclat Sat 17-Sep-16 14:52:51

Every other weekend we have DPs daughter staying so today is our only day off alone together.
I've noticed a pattern of him being quite low mood/ low energy on these days and it kind of ruins my day.
I look forward to spending tone with him and then it's just like dragging a sad sack around.
Today he suggested having a potter around town and when we got there he was just really slow and when I offered to buy him lunch, he sat in the restaurant looking at the menu and said that he hated the look of everything on the menu and wanted to just go home to bed.
I work 5 days a week and gave to plan for school on a Sunday. He works three days a week so my Saturday is more sacred to me than his is to him if you see what so mean.
Should I just go off for the day and leave him to it?

TheNaze73 Sat 17-Sep-16 14:55:28

I would, he needs to work out what he wants. His attitude will drive you away if it doesn't change

bumbleclat Sat 17-Sep-16 15:13:59

We're married sorry- DH!
He says he feels ill but I think he's a bit depressed.
He does suffer from bouts of depression from time to time as do I but sometimes it feel like he's just being a spoil sport!
I need to detach when he's like this. I could easily join him in bed but then that my one day off wasted.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Sat 17-Sep-16 15:49:56

Yes go off for the day. Your Saturday is precious. Make plans to do stuff yourself. If he wants to spend time with you then he can make plans himself and invite you along. Sounds like you are doing all the running.

wizzywig Sat 17-Sep-16 15:53:33

Same situation. For the first time ive taken one kid and we are out having fun. Im going to leave Mr Misery Guts at home. Im going to do this regularly.

mrsfuzzy Sat 17-Sep-16 17:22:55

as someone who has bipolar [but medicated] i get times like this when everything is a real struggle, perhaps he needs to speak to gp about his depression, it can be so difficult to live along side but harder to live with.

bumbleclat Sat 17-Sep-16 20:20:38

Thank you.
Yeah he isn't very resourceful when it comes to his health and wellbeing which annoys me.
I go to weekly therapy and make sure I eat healthily he never seeks help for various health things including depression.
He was bemoaning the fact that he doesn't have money earlier and I told him that he could work more that that would help.
I'm tired of people not taking responsibility for their situations.
My dad was the same on the phone this morning, moaning about money and when I asked why he didn't take a job in a garage that he was offered he said that he didn't want to be tied down- well I'm afraid I'm not very sympathetic because I sacrafice my freedom for financial peace of mind that's just the deal unless you're born into a wealthy family/make loads of money yourself.
Sorry, this has turned into a random rant! I'm grieving for my recently late mum and the anger phase is in full effect today especially because aim pregnant and feel a lack of support/ security/ safety and empathy coming my way.

deste Sat 17-Sep-16 20:28:21

He works three days a week? Is he going to be looking after the baby when it arrives or will he be too tired?

AnnettePrice Sat 17-Sep-16 20:38:17

Your dealing with so much stuff.
Depression is not easy.
He needs to sort himself out as he is the only one that can , but you can give him the support if he puts some effort in.
One thought, putting up with his not sorting himself out, are you enabling his depression? ie are you stopping him from moving forward by letting the status quo keep going?
Tough love is... well tough.
Could you bring this up in your therapy to discuss?

Shayelle Sun 18-Sep-16 08:03:33

Mine was like this, think it may be depression. I did split up with him as couldnt hack it anymore. Gets to breaking point in the end and something snapped. I know how it feels... Makes you miserable and thats not how you want to be!!!

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