Was this OTT?

[user1470266148]

I have been with my DP for 5 years. In the last 2 years it's became evident that I am not his number one priority and I am now starting to think that he does not car a jot about how his actions make me feel. However, when I write down examples they seem very trivial:

Going out with friends in a couples situation but telling me he is meeting the lads, then I find out when he has gone that other DP's are there and he 'never thought to ask me'

Refusing to spend Christmas Day with me as he 'goes to his mothers house every year' so for the past 4 Christmases I've sat at home alone

Refusing to discuss anything about getting married (we've been engaged 18 months) because I don't speak to his sister and our wedding plans may upset HER.

I have spoken to him about these and how it makes me feel, he promises he will be more aware of how his actions make me feel.

To add further insult he moved in with me (from his 1 bedroom studio apartment) into my 4 bedroom home, I have not asked him to contribute to the mortgage but to contribute half of the money for bills (which he does pay eventually, sometimes months later).

So yesterday we returned from a weeks holiday in Europe (which I paid for entirely) and he announces he's going out with his mate in a town 5 miles away. I was tired after a long journey home so I went for a nap and when I got up he had gone out.

Guess what?..... It was a couples thing again!!! So I lost my shit, packed his clothes and drove them to his mothers house and texted him to say he was a selfish bellend and not to come back.

Was I OTT?

[QuiteLikely5]

Well done op! You definitely done the right thing!

He is using you, he does not care about you and has been taking advantage of your generosity.

If you let him back he will continue to disrespect you.

Raise your standards you deserve so much more

[ilivehappilyeverafter]

No, good for you!

[ayeokthen]

Nope, I think you reacted perfectly reasonably.

[Yoksha]

I'd say nope. His behaviour is questionable. Stay strong. It might make him respect you. Because he obviously doesn't.

[user1470266148]

Does he fall under the category 'cocklodger'?

[jeaux90]

Standing ovation from me. Well done xxx

[ElspethFlashman]

No, I think it was quite a sensible reaction.

He's also never ever going to marry you. But tbh he's no prize, you can do a lot better.

[ElspethFlashman]

If he's not a cocklodger then I honestly don't know what the definition is. You pay for everything and you're just an afterthought to him. Kinda as if you were his mum.

[0SometimesIWonder]

No, not OTT at all - I'd have done the same about 4 years ago.
Well done op on finding yourself under all that crap he's been piling on top of you.

[StartledByHisFurryShorts]

Not at all. You sound well rid of him.

The Christmas thing is especially baffling. Were you not invited to his mum's?

You don't need this person in your life and it sounds like you were financially supporting him to boot.

[Guiltypleasures001]

Cocklodger of massive proportions yes, well done

[Kr1stina]

Good move

[user1470266148]

Oh, and then he was texting saying how he was 'homeless'.
Texting from the pub I might add, knowing that he had upset me and that his clothes were at his mothers!
He really is selfish isn't he.
Thank you for your replies, I feel a lot calmer now.
I just need to stay strong and not contact him

[RandomMess]

Yep cocklodger.

[DoreenLethal]

Good move - should have done it ages ago!

[Cisoff]

I can only accuse you of being late. Not OTT.

please, please don't take him back!

[0SometimesIWonder]

You are not his partner; you are/ have been nothing more than his landlady with (a great deal of) benefits.

[user1470266148]

Hi Startled

I am not invited to his mums as the nightmare sister who I don't speak to will be there.

[SharkBastard]

Excellent work! No way OTT, perfectly executed, I'm impressed

[talesofthevillage]

Was cheering for you when I read you've dumped his clothes at his mum's. Well done. Stay strong.

[readyforno2]

Not ott! At all.

[winkywinkola]

Wow. You're amazing. I'm so impressed. Seriously. You don't take any crap, do you?

Your ex is a knobber. Well done.

[quencher]

👏 well done. Don't let him back in.

Standing ovation from me and one of the best Mn post.

[Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016]

As you are clearly his last priority (after dm dsis and his mates) I would just block his number and move on. He was never actually committed to you. Twat.

[milkyface]

Well done op!!!

I think you did exactly the right thing!