Hi, bit of background. Been together 16 years, 3 dc together. Not been the happiest of relationships for a while now. Sex is almost non-existent (his choice) No affection anymore etc etc. He's definitely not having an affair (physical anyway) as he's always with me. (we work together) He moved up here 16 years ago to be with me and has never made any friends, so I'm all he has. He has family 3 hours away, but we only see them once or twice a year (his choice-I actually love my in-laws)
Anyhow he did something really hurtful the other day, so I said to him if x happens again, we're over. He replied "It's been over for a long time".
Since then I've tried to just be civil as we still need to work together (both self-employed) I'm assuming we are over, but he just will not move out. He has no-where to go, he won't go back to his mums. I think he suffers from social anxiety, will not phone people etc, even going to the corner shop is a massive deal for him. This makes me feel sorry for him, which is why I've not kicked him out (house rented in both names, but I'm not giving it up and displacing the dc, and the house is too big for just him anyhow and the HA would make him move)
Argh, this probably all reads like gobbeldy-gook, I'm just reeling it off my chest as it comes to me. I'm still making his meals, and doing his washing as it's just easier to do so. So basically, nothings changed from when he said that ^^ as we weren't having sex anyhow.
One thing I did do was go out with a friend last night to the cinema, which I wouldn't normally do as he'd moan about it (hates me going anywhere) and it wouldn't be worth the argument. When he did moan, I just said "I no longer have to ask your permission"
Where do I go from here? If he will not move out, I can't physically make him, and he/we can't afford for him to live separate anyhow (all money is joint atm)
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"It's been over for a long time"
13 replies
CatEatCatWorld · 17/09/2016 09:08
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